There are a lot of landmarks in Alaska that have suffered the ravages of time and history, but the Red Onion Saloon in Skagway, Alaska is still open for business, as far as we can tell. Skagway is about a hundred miles north of Juneau, near the Canadian border, and the famous saloon inside it was first built in 1897. It was one of the finest bordellos in Skagway, which we admit is a pretty small sample size.
Obviously, a lot of things have changed since then since the saloon has become a saloon, restaurant, and a gentleman’s establishment museum, but it still has a lot of the same spirit. There are lots of exhibits to see the history of the place, and you can even get a bite to eat from a traditional nineteenth-century building. Hopefully, they’ve updated the food preparations a little bit.
The State Sport
One of the more famous things about Alaska is the sport of sled dog racing, where you strap a whole bunch of raring-to-go dogs to the front of your sled and snap the reins. Not only is this famous, but it’s actually Alaska’s state sport – it’s listed as “dog mushing.” There are more state sports than you might imagine, with some even having an official summer and winter sport, but Alaska is the only one that lists dog mushing.
We’re not going to pass judgment on all of them here, but those dogs look jazzed to be able to sprint through the snow while hauling a sled. Maybe it’s just because huskies and Alaskan malamutes have that kind of look to them, but they’ve also been trained to love this kind of thing, and it seems like they really do.
A Teen Designed the State Flag
Before Alaska had a state flag it was a simple territory, but it still needed a flag. Thus, all the way back in 1927, the local government held a contest in order to collect ideas. One Benny Benson submitted an all-blue flag that has the stars of the Big Dipper constellation on it. It was selected among the more than seven hundred entries.
This was a big deal for young Mr. Benson – an Alaska native who lived in an orphanage. He was awarded with a thousand dollars (worth more than seventeen thousand dollars at this point) and also got an engraved watch. As you can see, he also got his very own memorial. Not bad for a kid who was only fifteen at the time of the contest.
There’s a Museum for Hammers
We guess almost anything can have a museum these days, but hammers are a bit of a strange one. Well, if you’ve ever wondered about the history of this oh-so-useful tool, here’s your chance to learn it all in one place. Founded in 2002 by Dave Pahl, this museum now boasts an astounding seven thousand items, including a whopping two thousand hammers on display.
The hammer is often thought of as the world’s first tool, so this building not only has all kinds of fun examples of hammers, but plenty of history, too. Its mission? To preserve the history of the hammer. Did it really need preserving? That’s not for us to say. There are even audio tours for in-depth explanations of everything that the museum has to offer.
Make Sure You Hit the Proper Button
Picture Alaska. Cold and snowy, you say? It’s not much of a surprise. It’s so far north that it’s in the Arctic Circle in places. So, if you’re like this poor guy and want to turn on the rear defrost button on your car, make sure you’re hitting the proper button. Otherwise, you might just accidentally hit the sunroof button, and this will be the result.
He just wanted to make it so he could see out his back window while driving to work to, we assume, teach math to high school students. It doesn’t matter how bundled up you are, if a pile of snow falls into your car and lands on top of you, you’re going to be cold.
Life-Saving Dogs
If you’ve seen the animated film “Balto,” released in 1995, you know a little bit of the story of the left picture, which features the real dog Balto himself. However, it’s not the entire tale. It’s true that Balto and a team of dogs were driven by Gunnar Kaasen on the final leg of the 1925 serum run to Nome, transporting diphtheria antitoxin during an outbreak.
What about the right picture? That one is of Togo, who was another lead dog during the run – in all, twenty mushers and around a hundred and fifty sled dogs took part in getting this life-saving medicine to avert an epidemic of diphtheria. We don’t say this kind of thing very often, but surely if any dogs deserve it it's these two: good boys.
The Big Zucchinis
Zucchini can grow to be pretty big in a lot of places, but it seems even the rough weather of the most northern state in the union isn’t able to stop them from getting massive. That thing looks like it could be the size of a dachshund. It also looks like it could feed a dachshund for an entire week.
This person thankfully has plenty of ways to use it, in such delicious things as soup, stews, stir-fry, and the famous and popular zucchini bread. You might think it’s weird putting a vegetable in bread, but add enough sugar and you won’t even notice it’s supposed to be healthy. Because it won’t be healthy anymore. It will be a dessert. If that much sugar is in something, it’s a dessert.
The Coldest Hot Springs
Found in the Tolovana River Valley of Alaska about fifty miles northwest of Fairbanks, the Tolovana Hot Springs are one of the most remote places to get a nice warm bath in the entire world. In addition, it can sometimes get as cold as forty degrees below zero there. We didn’t put a scale marker on that one, Celsius or Fahrenheit, because forty degrees below zero is where they meet up.
This guy took a dip in some nice warm water and then it all froze on his face, beard, mustache, and even in his eyebrows pretty much immediately. We hope that he did that thing where he grabbed a cup of hot springs water and threw it into the air, so it immediately turned to snow. Science at work.
It’s Real
Yes, there is a North Pole in Alaska, but it’s actually nowhere near the real North Pole. It’s found near Fairbanks and is known for having tons of Christmas decorations, events, and attractions for people who still believe. The Santa Claus House is a Christmas store that has walls covered in children’s letters to Santa, and it also features a huge Santa statue outside.
The streets have names like Kris Kringle Drive and Mistletoe Lane, and the nearby Chena Lake Recreation Area has nature trails, picnic areas, and even a beach. This place gets mighty cold during the winter months, with weather often falling below zero degrees Fahrenheit even in November. During the summer, since the sun never sets, it can get up to ninety degrees. But the cold is a little more noteworthy.
The Tongass National Forest
Located in Juneau, this national forest stretches five hundred miles, north to south, and is on an island archipelago that contains streams, glacial fjords, and lush valleys with mountains all around. There are huge forests full of majestic, old-growth cedar, hemlock, and spruce trees. It’s the largest United States National Forest, comprised of almost seventeen million acres.
Remote and immense, this area is home to many species of endangered and rare flora and fauna. There are even people living inside it – approximately seventy thousand people in thirty-two distinct communities. This actually includes the state capital, Juneau. Let’s give you a good indication of how big this place is – this National Park, which makes up a small percentage of Alaska’s total size, is roughly the size of West Virginia. The state.
Not the Normal Kind of Outhouse Speed
Every state is going to have its own strange customs, but Anchorage might have one of the strangest. As you can see from the picture, they hold outhouse races. They’re seen at the Fur Rendezvous or “Fur Rondy,” a yearly festival that has a number of things to do, but one of the most famous attractions is the outhouse race.
People bring their homemade (and hopefully clean) outhouses that have been decorated to the nines to a downtown location. At that point, someone must be in the outhouse, while others either push or pull the structure with their own simple strength. Since this takes place during the snowy season, it’s a little more difficult than go-karting. A lot of strength and control has to be used to win.
There Are Way More Men Than Women
Over every single state in the union, Alaska has the highest number of men compared to women – about a hundred and six or a hundred and eight men to every one hundred women. How can this be the case? Well, it turns out that most cities are pretty even, and there are also a lot of communities that have a higher number of women than men. What’s going on?
The answer is simple. In the far western Aleutian Islands, the North Slope Borough, and many other places, the dominant industries are fishing and oil. These heavily male-dominated industries are incredibly hard jobs and need a great deal of physical strength. In those areas, the ratio is more like a hundred and eighty men to a hundred women, and maybe even higher.
America Got a Good Deal
You might be aware that the United States bought the Alaskan territory from Russia back in the nineteenth century, but do you know any of the details of the exchange? This picture is supposed to tell us part of the story, but it’s pretty hard to see. You see, it’s an image of the check that was used to pay for Alaska, and it’s for a whopping total of seven-point-two million dollars.
Even back then, for that much space, that wasn’t a lot. It’s worth about a hundred and thirty million dollars now. On May fifteenth, 1867, the United States Senate ratified a bilateral treaty, officially making Alaska the Department of Alaska, then the District of Alaska, then the Territory of Alaska, and then finally the State of Alaska in 1959.
Not the Nicest Nickname
Right after the purchase of Alaska from the Russian Empire, most people thought it was a positive decision. However, some members of the United States thought that America had just thrown a whole lot of money away. Opponents of the purchase labeled it “Seward’s Folly” or “Seward’s Icebox,” after William H. Seward, the U.S. Secretary of State at the time. For a while, they seemed to be correct, but then the Klondike Gold Rush began in 1896 and things changed a lot.
An interesting piece of trivia: Secretary Seward, laid up in bed after a carriage accident, was attacked by a co-conspirator of John Wilkes Booth the same night that Booth did the thing that made him famous. Seward was severely injured. Not only did he live, but he went on to make a full recovery and continue serving.
The Special Big Mac
Known as the Denali Big Mac, this special sandwich can only be found in Alaska. So what is it? The patties are bigger – denoting Alaska’s status as the biggest state of the union – and it also has an extra dose of special sauce. This is because Alaska is apparently the special sauce of America, and it’s just plain different.
The burger was originally called the McKinley Mac after Mount McKinley, but after the name was changed back to the original, Denali, the fast food chain decided to follow suit. The two patties are quarter-pounders, meaning this burger starts out with half a pound of beef, though some of that is probably rendered out during the cooking process. If you want the biggest Mac, you might just have to get on a plane.
The Moose Dropping Festival
You might think you know what’s going on with a name like that, but trust us, you do not. For thirty-seven years up until 2009, the small town of Talkeetna, Alaska, ran a moose-dropping competition. They would paint a bit of moose poop, number it, and drop it from a helicopter onto a target.
PETA heard about it, and as is natural, PETA got things really wrong, since they thought the town was dropping actual moose from the helicopter. However, even after everything was cleared up with the organization, the town still decided to put an end to the tradition. The festival also included a 5k walk or run, a softball tournament, a parade, and a couple of other events, but they all stopped thanks to PETA.
Based on a Real Place
“Northern Exposure” was a show that ran for five years on CBS, from 1990 to 1995, and had more than a hundred episodes. It got fifty-seven award nominations and won twenty-seven of them, including a couple of Emmys and some Golden Globes. Recently graduated physician Joel Fleischman (played by Rob Morrow) has to set up his practice in the tiny Alaskan town of Cicely.
The show is widely thought to have been based on Talkeetna, Alaska, though it’s shot mainly in Washington, in the towns of Roslyn and Redmond. The show began with highlighting Fleischman’s fish-out-of-water nature, but as the seasons progressed it became more of an ensemble show that gave equal focus to more of the characters and Cicely residents at the same time.
Bears Are a Big Issue
There are a whole lot of bears in Alaska, of many different varieties, and the people who live there have to make sure they keep their trash safe from those giant scavengers. As we can see in this picture, they use special bear-proof containers to make sure the bears aren’t going to make a mess.
But this is for more than just keeping them from spreading garbage all over – residents of Alaska have a vested interest in teaching bears that there is nothing yummy and tasty where people are. Bears and other animals can get more and more bold if they become familiar with a place and think they’ll find something to eat there. Those things can include farm animals, pets, and even people if things get bad enough.
There’s a Cat Who Is a Mayor
We’re hearing a whole lot about Talkeetna in this article, and here’s another fun piece of trivia – they had a cat as their mayor for twenty years. Stubbs the cat started being mayor only a few months after he was born, in July of 1997, and continued in the role until July of 2017, at which point he died (racking up ninety-seven cat years, apparently). Some opinion writers insisted that the entire story was false.
NPR even got in on the action, stating that the cat couldn’t have been elected as a write-in candidate since “the tiny town has no real mayor, so there was no election.” That sounds like the kind of no-fun attitude that NPR is famous for if you ask us. Just let the cat be the mayor. It’s not like he’s going to overspend on catnip.
The Last Train to Nowhere
Once, the people of Alaska had a dream. They wanted to build an extensive and prosperous rail system on the Seward Peninsula. Chicago backers were interested in linking the region’s major mining centers by rail. But as the gold rush faded, the project started to rack up debt. After five entire years of construction, the project had built only thirty-five miles of rail.
The project was abandoned in 1907, and not all of the equipment was picked up. Three rusty steam locomotives and a little bit of rolling stock are left stuck in the tundra of the Nome Census Area. It’s a popular attraction in the area, and there are both viewing platforms and signs that let people of many languages understand what they’re looking at.
The Igloo City Hotel
Alaska is the land of the igloo, a special structure one can make out of snow, and is designed to trap as much warmth around you as possible while keeping out the gusts of frigid winter air. But not all igloos are equal, as this picture so quickly tells us. This is a shot of the famous abandoned Igloo City Hotel, which stands in the middle of nowhere next to Highway 3 in Cantwell, Alaska.
Construction began in the seventies, but it couldn’t meet building codes. By now, too much of the hotel has deteriorated for it to be of any use with severe renovations. It's a four-story structure that is so large that it can be seen by aircraft from thirty thousand feet. It used to be padlocked shut, but it’s fallen apart too much for it to make any difference.
The Old Mine Village in Kennecott
Considered one of the best remaining examples of early twentieth-century copper mining establishment, the Old Mine Village in Kennecott has been a National History Landmark since 1986. Spread across the hills of Kennecott, it features a number of historic exhibits. The General Manager’s office is the oldest building of the compound, and it’s where the bosses worked, now featuring panoramic photos hanging on the walls. There are also lots of letters and photos from secretary Nell Nicklas.
You can follow the tunnels, tramways, and trails of the mining operation on a scale model of the Bonanza Bridge. The most extensive collection of exhibits is found inside the General Store and Post Office, which is also where the short film “The Kennecott Mill” plays for visitors. There are also bear safety videos. It’s a big problem.
Whale Bone Arch
What do you find when you walk through this Whale Bone Arch in Barrow, Alaska? It’s a gateway to the Arctic Circle, so lots of snow. Barrow is the northernmost city in the United States as well as the northernmost in Alaska. Barrow was once called Ukpeagvik by the Inupiat who lived here, and whale hunting was a huge part of their lives: bones for boats and houses, skin for clothes, baleen (the fringed plates that hang inside whales’ mouths) for tools and art, and blubber for oil, as well as basically everything else they could think of.
Now, due to a much smaller whale population, the native people of the land are allowed to harvest twenty-four whales a year as part of their cultural heritage. This big bone arch is a symbol of the relationship between the area and the big sea creatures they came from.
The Red Onion Saloon
There are a lot of landmarks in Alaska that have suffered the ravages of time and history, but the Red Onion Saloon in Skagway, Alaska is still open for business, as far as we can tell. Skagway is about a hundred miles north of Juneau, near the Canadian border, and the famous saloon inside it was first built in 1897. It was one of the finest bordellos in Skagway, which we admit is a pretty small sample size.
Obviously, a lot of things have changed since then since the saloon has become a saloon, restaurant, and a gentleman's establishment museum, but it still has a lot of the same spirit. There are lots of exhibits to see the history of the place, and you can even get a bite to eat from a traditional nineteenth-century building. Hopefully, they’ve updated the food preparations a little bit.
A Purely Australian Theme Park
If you’ve ever wondered what kind of theme parks there are in Alaska, let’s talk about Mukluk Land. It’s billed as Alaska’s Most Unique Destination, and that really means something. To enter, you must walk under the giant mukluk (pictured), and then you can take advantage of all the fun the place has to offer.
This includes skeet-ball (that’s how it’s spelled on the website, so that’s how we’re spelling it), a bouncy house, mini golf, tetherball, wack-a-mole, cotton candy, and much more. There are plenty of pieces of history to enjoy, too. This park has been active since 1985 when husband and wife team George and Beth Jacobs established it along the Alaska Highway. It’s a great place for people to stop if they’re tired of driving.
The Kuskulana Bridge
Suspended two hundred and thirty-eight feet above the bottom of a deep, sheer gorge, the Kuskulana Bridge is more than five hundred feet long and located on McCarthy Road, a third of the way from Chitina to McCarthy. Far below, the Kuskulana River rushes through the canyon, and practically endless trees cover the ground. It only took two months to build this cantilevered bridge during an incredibly cold 1910 winter.
You can park on either side of the bridge and walk out onto it in order to get some amazing views. There are nearby trails, an information station, and a couple of other attractions that are nearby for you to visit if you like the area. And from where we’re standing, it looks like a pretty darn nice area.
Alaska Is Pretty Big
This might not be the most scientific sign, but it shows you just how big Alaska is compared to the rest of the nation (in actuality, Alaska is about 2.46 times the size of Texas going by pure square miles – so in this sign, Texas is a good bit smaller than it should be).
When looking at the continental United States, it can be easy to think that Texas is the biggest one – since most maps just don’t want to give up the space to portray the sizes accurately, they just have it floating off to the side. But yes, Alaska is pretty darn big. The thing about it, however, is that most of it is just uninhabited. There are huge swaths of land that have nobody there at all since it’s impossible to eke out a living.
The Cruelest of Insults
While this might seem like something out of a “Monty Python’s Flying Circus” sketch, we suppose it has to happen somewhere around the world every once in a while. A pair of women were having it out, and one of them needed to vent her anger.
While on the surface this seems a little silly, it’s still using a weapon with an intent to harm, so obviously it should come with some repercussions. The guilty woman isn’t going to cause a whole lot of damage with a fish, but there’s always a chance something bad could happen depending on the fish. And when you think about it, eighty hours of community service really isn’t that much. It could have been a whole lot worse.
No, YOU Mush!
Getting a flat tire is never fun, but things are a little different while running a team of sled dogs. If one of the dogs is just all out of gas, what are you supposed to do? You can’t exactly wait for a tow. You have to convince the dog to get up and keep running, and that’s not always the easiest thing to do.
So what are your options? Belly rubs? Scooby snacks? Does the dog get to ride on the sled while the other dogs now not only have less dog-power to use, but more weight to carry? Doesn’t seem that fair. But you have to get the medicine to town (or whatever it might be), and it’s only going to get colder as the sun goes down.
Alaskan Traffic Jam
If you’re driving along and see one of these big guys, best to steer clear. Sure, you might be able to scare it off by honking your horn, but it’s just as likely that the moose is going to come at you at full tilt and do quite a lot of damage to both your vehicle and your own person.
There’s a really good reason why all the cars in this picture are trying their hardest to not be near the moose as it wanders down the center of the street. Moose are big, they’re strong, and depending on the time of year or the particular moose, they can be mean and aggressive. Did we mention how big and strong they are? Because look at that picture again. They’re huge.
North of the Border
It seems that one restaurant in Alaska is a little unsure of what does, and does not, constitute Mexican food. You might have had Mexican pizza once or twice, but this is a little different. That’s just a pizza with ground beef, tomatoes, and lettuce on it. We love it, but we wouldn’t really call it Mexican food.
We wouldn’t even call it Tex-Mex, which is what most “Mexican” food is if you go to a place like Taco Bell. Stuff like tacos and burritos, while wonderfully tasty, aren’t really traditional Mexican food unless you’re doing it a certain way. Then again, maybe this place just wanted to diversify what it could offer. There might not have been a lot of options in a town in Alaska.
Making Fun of Themselves
The best part about this sign is it could show up in any one of a hundred or even a thousand small towns all across America, Canada, and the rest of the world. This one works particularly well since Homer is the famous drunk father of “The Simpsons,” though we don’t think he does all that much fishing.
There have been over seven hundred and fifty episodes of the show, he has to have fished in at least one of them. Indeed, it’s all the way back in season two, in the episode “Gone Fishin’” in January of 1988. Sorry, that year? Yes, this is one of the original shorts that were created before the show actually began.
Then You’re in the Right Place
If you desire a quiet life, then Alaska is the place to be. There are acres and acres of empty land no matter where you look – you can carve out your own little existence. That’s what it seems like, anyway, but the thing is, it’s really hard to live like that these days. Are you going to grow all your food by yourself? How are you going to get power? What about heat?
Even if you’re burning coal in a stove you still have to get the coal from somewhere. Are you going to mine it yourself? What about making your clothes? All that work will take a whole lot of time. Also, this person clearly lives in California. He just wants to visit a place that isn’t overcrowded for once.
For When You Need to Go Anywhere
Yes, it’s true that there is a lot of snow in Alaska, but that doesn’t mean it’s everywhere all the time. Just most places, most of the time. But there are at least some places that still have workable roads. Clearly, if you need to be ready for anything, the answer is to have everything with you, which we guess is why this guy has a nice, shiny new snowmobile strapped to the top of his beater.
Take a look at where the rear straps go under the car – this is a common tactic for whoever owns these two vehicles. Hopefully, it’s just used for transporting the snowmobile as needed, and it doesn’t sit there all the time. Also, how did he get it on there?
Meet the New Student
This picture is from when a moose wandered into a lunchroom at a student union. We have to guess that this isn’t the kind of thing that happens all that often, even in Alaska. Yet it happened here, and now we’re left to wonder what the next steps were. Get all of the kids out of the room, obviously. Then what?
Call animal control or the police? Get some air horns or pepper spray? Guns? Those usually aren’t found in schools, but maybe Alaska is a little different. At least it was a little moose, compared to the fully-grown ones that you can see out in the wild sometimes. No antlers, either, so it has one fewer weapon to worry people with. Still, this is certain to make a school day exciting.
People Will Die Everywhere
This one is definitely a little dark, but it’s still so goofy it will make you laugh anyway. Obviously, since there are people there, Alaska has to deal with death. It also has to deal with death in places where normal road vehicles might not be able to reach it.
So, enterprising mortician Scott Janssen decided to get a team of sled dogs to fetch the stiffs that aren’t where normal vehicles will be able to travel. Or maybe he just sponsors an Iditarod team or something like that. One way or another, this is the kind of sight you might only be able to find in Alaska, with a small chance of it showing up in places like Canada or Russia.
Teaching Them Young
If you live in a place like Alaska, one thing that you’re going to have to get used to is enjoying the great outdoors. Whether you like skiing, snowboarding, sledding, hunting, fishing, snowmobiling, or one of the dozens of other options, there are going to be a whole lot of other people who want to do it with you.
Alaska doesn’t have a thriving theater scene, is what we’re trying to say here. If you’re a family that loves to enjoy the outdoors, you’re going to get your kids in on the fun, and that means doing something like attaching a baby carrier to the back of a four-wheeler. Make sure to strap that baby in tight, or you’ll have to stick to some pretty slow speeds.
Be Sure to Bring Bug Spray
There are a lot of places that have lots of bugs. Such as everywhere. There are also lots of places that have lots of mosquitoes, and Alaska ranks near the top of the list for those. There’s even a common joke that says Alaska’s state bird is the mosquito. Not true, thankfully: the actual state bird is the stately willow ptarmigan, a member of the grouse subfamily.
There are lots of other places that probably have the same joke – Minnesota is one off the top of our heads. The mosquitoes there are so big they can practically carry you away. And yes, that information does come from personal experience. But it doesn’t matter where you find them, those little buggers are a big hassle.
The State Has Some Perks, Apparently
Few birds are more fashionable than the bald eagle – the national bird of the United States. Brings a tear to our eye just looking at this picture here. We’ve never seen so many of these eagles gathered in one place – they tend to be solitary birds. We’re not sure, but there might even be some juvenile eagles or eagles of different breeds hanging out here.
They’re all trying to find a little bit of grub (maybe literally) to get through this long winter since food is a little harder to find if the lakes and rivers have frozen over. The fish might like the added protection, but these birds have to scrounge to fill their bellies. At least it gives us a chance to see pictures like this one.
The Legend of the Swimming Goat
Tales tell us of a goat that was once found swimming in the middle of Harriet Hunt Lake, about twenty miles from the city of Ketchikan. It was just swimming around, so this lad went out to swim around with it. The lad also, we hear, helped the goat out of the water and back onto dry land.
No, this isn’t the true story behind Paul Bunyon and his blue cow, Babe, it’s just a picture that somebody took of a guy helping a goat out of deep water. Maybe the goat had a good reason for getting into the lake, but it probably didn’t like it too much. There isn’t any food there, and the goat could easily drown, so it was heading for the beach anyway, we’re going to guess.
Carry Rocks in Your Pockets
They grow them big up north. Even if you’re wearing bug spray, you might not be able to defend yourself from the insects that infest so much of the world, and so much of Alaska. You might wonder how the people of Alaska ever manage to build a life if they’re in constant danger of being savaged by wildlife of this size and ferocity, but we have some good news – this isn’t a genuine road sign.
We know, our trust erodes with every passing day. This is one of a set of funny, fake, signs on the switchback road up to the Grande Denali Lodge, outside the Denali Park entrance. The drive is a long one and tourists often have to take buses, so these signs give visitors something to look at before reaching their destination.
Don’t Lie, You’ve Felt Like It
If you spend enough time on planet Earth, you’ll eventually get to a point where you’ll want to do something drastic in order to get rid of the clog that is plaguing it. Shouldn’t have eaten both of those every-bean burritos before all those bananas. Flushing the toilet just makes it worse, and the normal plunger doesn’t seem to help.
You’ll have to upgrade, using some of the best that Alaska has to offer (though we imagine any place that isn’t too stuck-up about its sense of humor will have something like this to offer buyers). Maybe you’ve wanted to blow your bad clog away after spending an hour trying to deal with it – well, this won’t let you do that, but it will at least help you feel better.
Like a Jackalope but Not as Cute
You’re supposed to use every part of the creature when you down an animal, and for most parts that’s pretty easy. The meat, the bones, and the fur can all be used for tons of things. Even brains or tongues might find their way into the stew pot. But what about things like the ankles and the eyes?
Well, just because you can’t eat it or turn it into a tool doesn’t mean you can’t do something with it. In this case, you can make a very strange piece of art that hangs on the wall. We’re told that this is called a “Hoofabou,” and it kinda looks like a horned Furby. Hopefully, this kind of thing won’t start talking and walking around.
Time to Blow Up the Ocean
We think we heard somewhere that more than eighty percent of the ocean remains unexplored, which means that there could be all sorts of things out there to terrify our dreams. This is apparently called a “wolf eel,” and they are described as curious and friendly and rarely aggressive. Could have fooled us! However, they can inflict painful bites on humans. We see those fangs showing inside the mouth.
They also apparently have edible, tasty white meat, proving that if humans are hungry enough, anything is edible. They have an average weight of forty pounds, which is a good amount of meat, and can sometimes grow up to almost eight feet in length. They aren’t actually part of the eel family of animals but people decided the name was close enough.
An Unexpected Flavor Combo
People have been trying to come up with new flavor combinations that will get them noticed by the purchasing public ever since flavors have been used in things, but we feel like the Alaska Distillery has gone a step too far now. Neither salmon nor vodka tastes like something that humans should put in their bodies, so one enterprising shop decided to save some shelf space and combine the two.
That way, people who are disgusting only have to buy one thing to keep themselves smelling terrible for the rest of the week. No, we kid. Apparently, this isn’t a bad option for something like a bloody Mary, but it’s a little tough to drink on its own unless, of course, you love both of these flavors.
Alaska Has a Lot of Dangers
There are some places that have to deal with the ever-present danger of avalanches. They get a lot of snow, and there are big mountains and plenty of trails that need to be kept clear for public safety. In order to do this, they use artillery shells, because Alaska is the coolest. Sometimes, however, those artillery shells don’t explode for one reason or another.
This sign is posted in Girdwood, Alaska, at the Alyeska ski resort, and it tells hikers what they should do if they see a piece of military ordinance while they’re exploring. Certainly DO NOT start throwing rocks at it, no matter how fun that might seem, because the shells could then explode. Just make sure other people know about them and continue on your way.
Everything You Could Need
Sure, if there are a lot of bobcats in your way, and you have to get rid of some of them, you might not know what to do with the face. One solution is to skin the faces off and sell them in order to make a little cash, but that kind of seems like something that Buffalo Bill would do.
Why are there so many of them? Why are they on sale? Where are they being sold? Why does the photo have such an unnecessary filter on it? Seriously, it makes it hard to figure out what we’re actually looking at. It obscures the shadows and makes them a little more blue, so we don’t actually know what we’re supposed to be seeing. Not that there’s a lot to look at anyway.
If You Have a Lot of Something
You know what? We’re just really glad they’re the genuine article. There are a lot of people going around these days selling moose-dropping earrings that turn out to be fake – the crooks! But these are the real deal. Actual moose droppings that you can attach to your ears and hang next to your face. We assume that they’ve been cleaned and sanitized, but we’d still hesitate to make these part of our outfit.
Sure, if you want to add a conversation piece to your look, they aren’t a bad choice, but as an everyday option? Have they been covered in something, or are they just poop that’s hanging there for all to see? Well, regardless, we’ll take ten pairs. We have Christmas shopping to do.
We Need More Straps
There are a pair of options when it comes to the most likely explanation for what’s going on here. One of them is a musk ox that had to go to the vet, and this was the best way to get it back to the herd. The other and more likely explanation is that this animal is instead coming back from the taxidermist, who had to put in a bunch of overtime to prepare such a big beast for the person who ordered it preserved.
That makes a lot more sense since we imagine most musk oxen wouldn’t be able to be held still by a bunch of furniture straps. And people transporting a big animal would use something that is made for that task, not just the back of a pickup truck.
Keeping Their Duds Fresh
It’s finally the big day, but it looks like the ground is a little muddy! Or maybe there are some moose pies lying around or something like that. No matter what the reason is, the groom and his best pals decided to make sure their pants didn’t get messed up by wearing the best pair of boots.
No doubt this was the groom’s addition to the outfit since only a bride could choose such a bright bird’s-egg blue as the main color for guys that have such light skin. Does it look terrible? No, but a darker color will work better with the lighter skin tones. Thankfully, they were at least able to keep their pant cuffs from getting soiled and ruining the rest of the pictures.
Ready to Freeze
Just living in Alaska sometimes isn’t good enough. Sometimes you need to prove that you have the guts and the grit to take on the most extreme of temperatures, and that means dressing up and taking a Polar Plunge. As you can see, this means diving into water that somehow isn’t freezing over, despite the cold temperatures, evident from the snow on the ground and the people bundled up in their warmest coats, biggest hats, and thickest boots.
It’s not required that people have spiky mohawks and frilly tutus when they jump into the water, but this group of five wanted to do something to help them stand out in the dreary Alaska winter. Actually, that could be Fall for all we know. Get ready for the shock of your life, gang.