Not only was he a father, but he was a medical personnel of some kind as well – the Caduceus, the rod with two snakes, is a dead giveaway. If the epitaph is any indication, it seems he was also a fan of shutting up and letting others think you’re stupid, rather than opening your mouth and removing all doubt.
Whether he asked for this to be added to his final resting place, or his family decided it was the best memorial, it must have been best to talk smart around this doc.
One Way Ticket
This headstone looks like something straight out of a haunted house. It is both spooky and hilarious, although we are not sure exactly what they were going for. Did they mean that if you enter the grave you would never be able to come out? Or are they talking about entering death? Because there really is no coming back from that one.
If they were talking about entering an occupied grave, the warning wasn’t really necessary, and if they’re talking about avoiding death, well most people would if they could. Either way, this headstone is unforgettable, even if doesn’t make much sense.
Against All Odds
Women are known for a lot of good things, but being quick in the bathroom is not one of them. Especially if these are young women, who typically spend a lot of time doing their hair and makeup. And trying to fit four women into one bathroom sounds like the premise for a great reality show.
This parent knew how hard it was and was rightfully proud of the fact that their house was filled with love despite it. It’s no surprise that’s the thing they want the world to remember them for. Raising four kids is hard enough, but doing it with one bathroom is taking things to a whole new level.
Put On A Happy Face
This headstone boils down life into one simple and somewhat depressing phrase. We hope the deceased didn’t really believe that this sentence summarized their entire life experience, but if they did, they must not have taken their passing that hard.
On the other hand, the smiley face makes it seem like they knew there was a brighter side to life, and that the sentiment was just a clever joke. In that case, the deceased must have known how to enjoy life and will probably like other people getting a kick out of their headstone.
A Plot in the Shade
Placing your grave under a tree is both pleasing to the eye and practical. The tree offers a nice view and shade from the sun and rain. However, we are pretty sure that the family who chose this scenic location didn’t mean for the headstone and the tree to merge and become one.
Many years have obviously passed since this headstone was placed here, and nature has done its work. All we can say is that the tree is definitely still in the picture, and the grave is now one of a kind.
No Thanks
As much as we can appreciate this person's cynical sense of humor (and his obvious existential logic), we'd rather not take them up on their offer to 'prepare.'
We'd like to think this person had good intentions, though, and is simply just trying to let us know that death is an inevitable and natural part of life. But still, the only thing that goes through our head when looking at this headstone is a loud and clear: "No thanks, buddy!"
Ready to Talk
This person either has a really morbid sense of humor or is pretty sure about what happens after death and is all set to get in touch. We wonder if they have taken into account how many kids will think this is creepy and intriguing and will summon them for a chat. Maybe they should have added 'for family and friends only' at the bottom.
We have to admit that a Ouija board as a headstone is pretty fitting. It will definitely become a regular attraction for visitors and add some much-needed thrills and chills for those who enjoy being scared. Skeptics, on the other hand, will at least get a good laugh out of it.
Proven Right
Headstones with these kinds of messages are becoming more popular, and they can be seen across different graveyards. They may be a sign of the many terminal diseases that society is dealing with these days, or they may be attributed to more people wanting to have the last laugh.
Being sick is no picnic and can include months or even years of hard times. A little laughter can go a long way in those situations, helping to preserve a person’s spirit, if not their body. In this case, the deceased kept themselves positive, all the way to the grave.
Call from Above
This headstone is somehow funny, sweet, and sad. It shows a slightly cartoonish representation of part of a woman, whom we assume is Kim, talking on an enormous phone. She looks pretty happy about what she’s hearing, and why wouldn’t she be, if she is talking to the son of God?
The wordplay is meant to make light of the fact that Kim has been “called” to leave this life for the afterlife. Despite the humor, there remains a feeling that Kim’s loved ones would have preferred for her to let the call go to voicemail, at least for a few more years.
Revenge From the Grave
There is no bigger question in this life than what happens after we die. Countless television shows, books, and movies have been made on the subject, but no one really knows. Or do they? This person is sure that now that they have passed on, they have all the answers.
It seems to us that this person must have been excluded a lot when they were alive; maybe they were the youngest sibling in the house. They have finally gotten their chance to have their own secret, which everybody wants to know, and they are not afraid to gloat.
The Big Sleep
This woman must have been either perpetually tired or a big fan of naps to have this message written on her headstone. Maybe she liked to say this whenever one of her family members tried to interrupt her precious sleep time, and they decided to immortalize the sentiment on her grave.
People often say, “I'll sleep when I'm dead,” and death is sometimes referred to as “The Big Sleep.” Seems like Joan was happy to finally have some uninterrupted shuteye, and anyone who tried to interfere with that was simply not welcome.
Funny in Both Life and Death
For those of you who haven’t heard of him, Leslie Nielsen was a well-known Canadian actor and comedian who appeared in movie parodies like "The Naked Gun" series and "Airplane!" He also starred in the television show "Police Squad!" He was famous on set and off for his practical jokes and often carried a hand-controlled fart machine around.
Nielsen passed away in his sleep in 2010 after battling pneumonia. He was laid to rest in Evergreen Cemetery in Fort Lauderdale. He left one final joke on his headstone for people to remember him by, simply stating, “Let ‘er rip.”
He Won't Be Right Back
Who can forget the legendary American TV show host, Mervyn Griffin? One of the most iconic American TV personalities of the 60s and 70s, Merv Griffin was known for his catchphrases and trademark mannerisms. And one of them, which is kind of obvious for a TV show host, was, "We will be right back after this message."
This is why his headstone couldn't be more fitting - even in death, Merv managed to make people laugh while pulling on their heartstrings. Also, it's quite hilarious that they decided to underline the word 'NOT,' just in case anybody had any doubts.
Sad but True
There are a lot of unpleasant realities about death that we don’t like to think about. For example, we are going to be inside a wooden box, six feet underground, covered in dirt. That really is the darkest place anyone can imagine being in.
This person may have feared the final darkness, of the physical and the metaphysical kind. It’s nice that they are using humor as a way of dealing with their fears. Plus, putting the whole thing in quotes as if they were speaking from beyond the grave is both funny and thought-provoking for whoever happens to pass by.
No Room for Error
It’s not easy to find the perfect words to capture everything you feel when a loved one passes away. Some people may find it overwhelming, especially in their time of grief, and are searching for something simple and to the point.
There is no room for error with this one-word design, and while the meaning is crystal clear, the headstone is actually quite unique. The modern cement-style stone, with the funky letter carvings, ends up telling visitors a lot about the deceased and what they liked. Seems like this family didn’t need much text to get their message across.
Telling It Like It Is
Although dying is a part of life, it is not always easy to accept. This person was clearly not happy about the end of the road arriving, but at least they accepted it, with a bit of a sarcastic smile.
It says a lot about a person that this is the only message they would leave on their headstone. They seem like someone who gets straight to the point and doesn’t sugarcoat things. They clearly have a sense of humor, and they are probably not very old if this is the phrase they chose to describe their death.
Location, Location, Location
They say that the most important thing in real estate is location. The view here can’t be beat, and the neighbors really are quiet, plus places with a reputation for being haunted are cheaper. Coming home at night, however, probably wouldn’t be too pleasant, and accommodations are definitely cramped.
It is not a stretch to think that the deceased, in this case, was a realtor, landlord, or someone who dealt with property management. What a funny way to remember the life they spent helping people find their perfect homes.
Private Parking
This couple didn’t want a lot out of their afterlife, they just wanted a place to park. Apparently, Georgetown, where they lived, was plagued by parking problems, and this couple was sick of it. That is definitely something other city dwellers can relate to.
Or maybe they meant a place to park, not only literally but also figuratively. A place to leave their tired mortal shells once they were done with this life. In either case, we hope they have found the perfect parking spot and can remain there forever.
A True Psychic
We’ve all heard the saying, “it’s funny 'cause it’s true.” That is certainly the case here. No matter who we are or where we come from, eventually, we are all going to die. George W. Jr. didn’t need to be a psychic to see this one coming.
However, we may not know the whole story. Maybe George had some inside information about the time or nature of his death, and the people in his life simply dismissed it. In that case, George really did see the future, and we don’t blame him for rubbing it in everyone’s faces.
Bum Deal
It is not a bad idea to take stock before the end of your life. This person clearly spent some time looking back and wasn’t afraid to admit that they had made some mistakes along the way. This joke isn’t just funny; it’s also relatable. We all make mistakes, and we all end up in the hole, pun certainly intended.
You have to also give them extra points for not just excelling with their financial wordplay but also literally having the headstone flush with the ground, making the entire sentence exist inside a hole.
Death by Aching Feet
People often say that it hurts to be beautiful. If you consider high heel shoes the epitome of female beauty, that saying is definitely true. Add to that the frequent usage of the phrase, “my (blank) is killing me,” and you could be missing out on a genuine cry for help.
We may never know what killed this woman, whether it was her quest for perfect-looking legs or an actual hitherto unknown medical condition that affects the feet, or something completely unrelated. However, we would urge all of you to take people’s complaints more seriously before it is too late.
The Long Nap
Not only did Mrs. Russell get a beautiful engraving of roses and a heart on her headstone, but she also made sure her last message was hilariously witty.
We're assuming that Gloria had quite the sense of humor, and hope that the 74-year-old Mrs. Russell is peacefully 'resting her eyes.'
What an Attitude
When a young person, who has never had the chance to live to adulthood, passes away, it is absolutely heartbreaking. This grave belongs to a 16-year-old, which is terribly sad, but at least the message on the grave embodies their age in a fitting and humorous manner.
It’s not exactly clear if this quote, modeled after the movie The Sixth Sense’s “I See Dead People”, was something that this individual might have liked to say, or if it refers to the people standing around this headstone. Either way, the irony is not lost on us, and neither is the teenage wit.
Relationship Goals
Everyone has seen those couples walking around with matching T-Shirts. Each shirt references the other person and features either overly romantic messages (“King” and “Queen”) or humorous digs (“The Boss” and “The Real Boss”). The mushy ones are usually met with uncomfortable eye-rolling, and the funny ones tend to get laughs.
This deceased duo decided that what’s good enough for their clothing is good enough for their grave. They were clearly on the same page and enjoyed the same humor, which is one of the most important things in a relationship. The joke was also complete from day one since they died on the same day.
A Tale of Two Heads
This person, or their family, decided to mark their final resting place with the statue of a man who is lying down, holding a head in their hands. The man and the head are looking at each other, and we are left with a whole lot of questions.
They could have at least left some kind of inscription that would explain what was going on. Now we are left wondering whose head is that, where’s the rest of him, and what exactly they were thinking when they chose this. Or maybe that’s the point?
Dated
A lot of people feel connected to their computers, but it takes some real computer freaks to want their PC, with monitor and keyboard, on top of them for eternity. We have to admit that having their picture on the monitor is a nice touch, but where is the mouse?
Unfortunately for this tech-savvy couple, technology has moved on since they passed away. Instead of having a headstone that is timeless, their grave ends up looking really dated. In a couple of decades, kids walking by may not even know what that weird thing on the grave is.
Unable to Rise to the Occasion
It’s safe to assume that this family did some baking in the past, but it still couldn’t have been easy to grow up with a last name like "Yeast." The amount of bread jokes that poor John must have put up with in his life boggles the mind.
However, sometimes when we near the end of our lives, we make peace with things that used to annoy us. It’s nice that the Yeast family has taken back ownership of their name and has beaten all the graveyard comedians to the punch.
Don't Forget the Tablets
As you can probably guess, Leonard was an English taxi driver (who obviously loved his job) and, apparently, a pretty great guy. Even after death, he's still making sure everyone takes their tablets! Did you spot the circle-shaped photo of good old Len at the bottom right corner? Love this guy.
Usually, headstones are written by family and friends to honor the deceased, but Leonard decided he would do the opposite. And we're loving it - why not take the opportunity to use a sad event and use it to thank all the people that made your life better? Imagine how nice each visitor must feel when they visit.
Jed and His Harley
Somewhere in New Mexico lie the remains of Jed Hall, the man who was enough of a badass to be buried with his beloved Harley Davidson, and never caught by the cops!
He definitely left a good legacy behind - those kids definitely have a talent for rhyming.
Poor Esther
Logically, Esther would much rather be the one reading her headstone than lying under it. But then again, so would everyone else in that situation.
Let's hope Esther is reading from a far better place. And that her 66 years of life were filled with wonderful things.
The One and Only
It's not surprising that a creative genius (and self-critical writer) like Billy Wilder chose to have something like this written on his headstone. One of the greatest cinematic legends of Hollywood's Golden Age, Wilder certainly knew how to end things with style.
It's OK, Billy; we all have our flaws.
The Chocolate Lover
We don't know who this person was, but if they were still alive, they'd definitely be our best friend. How could you not love someone that adores chocolate enough to inscribe a dedication for it on their headstone?!
Hopefully, this person is in a place filled with endless chocolate fountains and they are finally able to eat all they want without gaining a pound!
Mr. and Mrs. Spanks
Apparently, people were quite naughty back in the Victorian era. And pretty hilarious too. With that surname, we're sure Arthur and his wife were the victims of countless puns over the years, so (whether intentionally or not) they decided they'd have the last laugh.
We just hope that Arthur and Katherine were careful when choosing their children's names.
Read the Fine Print
This is definitely one of the most hilarious entries on our list. Have you ever seen a headstone with fine print?! Then again, Janet does have a point - if you're going to stand that close to her, you should at least know you're stepping on some very important parts.
Or maybe she was just very fussy about personal space. Regardless, if those feet know what's good for them, they won't come any closer.
Kay's Fudge
We don't know about you, but we would love to try Kay's fudge - especially if it was obviously good enough to have engraved in her headstone!
This lady not only had her famous fudge recipe inscribed on her headstone so her beloved ones would never forget or have to scramble for that old, wrinkled piece of paper she wrote it on way back in the '60s, but she also made sure to include a footnote that clearly captures her wonderful personality - "Wherever she goes, there's laughter." And we believe it.
The Harsh Truth
If that's not the most accurate summary of a human's life, we don't know what is. This Tennessee resident was definitely not happy to be "leaving without his consent."
Hey buddy, we can totally understand and relate, but that's just the way it is.
When You Just Can't Be Bothered
Obviously, Lola's sense of humor was intact even at the ripe old age of 81. Either that, or she was just out of clever phrases by the time she had to fill out the form for her headstone inscription.
It is quite hilarious, though, to think that a person who was born in 1923 has the word "whatever" written on their headstone.
The Hip-Hop Loving Hunter
Steven knew it was never too late to make a pun about hip-hop and hunting - his two favorite things. And in case somebody needed some visual aid, Steven's family decided to add a nice engraving of him with a buck, and some really nice nature landscape.
We really hope Steven made it to a magical land filled with bucks and awesome DJs.
The Cat Lady
If you can ignore the fact that this woman was so obsessed with cats she decided to put a giant sculpture of one over her headstone, this is actually pretty sweet. Mrs. Blanchard knew that her destiny was to take care of cats - "too many cats" - and she took the time to have this sculpture made, and even added a lovely sunflower drawing on her headstone. Maybe her cats were particularly fond of sunflowers?
She definitely chose the right resting place because it seems this cemetery is all about paying tribute to your beloved animals after you're gone. Just look at Mr. Peacock back there.
Tough Guy
For those who don't know, Samuel Whittemore was an American farmer and soldier that became the oldest known fighter in the American Revolutionary War. And now we know why - the guy was the colonial version of Sylvester Stallone. Not only did this man manage to kill three soldiers at the age of 80, but he survived an insane beating and lived for 18 more years!
Now, if that's not something to write on your headstone, we don't know what is.
Good Old Fred
We hope the only reason that was written on Fred's headstone was for rhyming purposes and not because that's what actually happened. It's hard to imagine a more infuriating death than having a big rock fall on your head. Then again, a great big rock did technically fall on his head.
To his credit, though, Fred probably was quite good - why else would someone worry about keeping their visitors entertained with a funny little limerick until the end of time?
Penny for Your Thoughts?
Judging by her headstone, dear Penny J. must have led a life of both humor and charity work. Why else would she have such clever lines written as her famous last words?
Thank God these words weren’t written on the walls of a pyramid, or grave robbers would have interpreted it as an invitation to dig in.
Sustainable Death
Living a sustainable life takes a lot, and you don’t need Greta Thunberg to tell you that. As it turns out, you can leave a sustainable message on your headstone as well.
This person’s second option for the headstone inscription must have been "reduce, reuse, recycle" but they opted for a more humorist approach.
Grave Oddity
Jeremy Beadle was a very well-known name in English television. The presenter and producer kept entertaining the living even after his death.
His beautiful headstone is a nod to his love of books, and the tongue-in-cheek words are a nod to his love of humor, and his curated collection of amusing facts.
Always Hospitable
Found in Falmouth, Cornwall, UK, this headstone is definitely one of the most welcoming ones we’ve encountered.
Another reason why we liked it so much is that ’Greetings’ has a fancy air to it that tells us a lot about the person who chose it. Plus, it sounds so much better than a mere ’hello.’
Staying Awake
Be it studying late, waking up early, or just staying awake at midday meetings, we are all slaves to coffee. Something tells us that the person under this headstone had a pretty close relationship with those brown beans too.
The message on this super relatable headstone is everlasting as it is concise.
Don’t Eat the Paste
Part of our development process as kids is putting in our mouths things that shouldn’t be there, like toys, our mom’s jewelry, or paint. When we are little, we slowly learn what’s food and what isn’t, but apparently, this unknown man hasn’t fully completed that phase in development.
In his defense, library paste is mostly made of flour and water, which under different circumstances, would have been safe to eat. However, the paste also contains alum, which could be poisonous if ingested in large quantities. At least his headstone would prevent others from making the same mistake.
Such a Drama Queen
Here is one with a dramatic flair. This person must have been making an entrance at any social gathering and had the best wardrobe with statement pieces for every occasion. Otherwise, why would their headstone have its own soundtrack?
This funny headstone is located at the Swapnool graveyard in Falmouth, Cornwall. The text on it may be very short, but it has a lot of underlying meaning. On the one hand, it’s a reminder of how abruptly life can end, and on the other, it reminds us not to take it too seriously.
Hello From the Other Side
This is one of the best headstones we’ve seen because it’s funny on both sides, and it applies to both loved ones visiting the grave and its next tenant.
Catharine and Edwards sound like a couple that most of all liked playing games and competing with each other, which would explain the sarcastic remark at the bottom.
Only Killing Time
Many of us have used the phrase "I’m going to kill you" when someone made us angry, but we never actually meant it literally. It’s just a figure of speech. Apparently, when Robert Clay Allison said those words, he actually meant them.
Allison didn’t exactly lead an exemplary life. He was a notorious gunfighter who spent much of his life drinking and one time shot himself in the foot. At least his headstone puts a little smile on the face of those who read it.
Someone Had Other Plans
Jerry and Jeannette seem like a couple that loved living in the moment and going on adventures together. One such adventure that never got to actually happen is living a telenovela script.
We are sure, however, that once Jeannette joins her late husband, the two will have a score of other adventures to experience together.
Ladies’ Man
We can’t vouch for the authenticity of the story of this man’s death, but after reading his headstone, we are convinced that he was living his life to the fullest.
One thing is for sure; the man loved women. And judging by his headstone, women loved him back. Or at least that’s what he would have us all think.
Making a Comeback
Fans of zombie films would love this item on our list, and not for the inscription, but for the overall design. This ancient Roman-inspired design can be found on the grave of none other than famous French writer Jules Verne.
Located in Amiens, France, Verne's tomb, with the statue of him rising from it, is something that can be added to his legacy. Much like his numerous literary pieces of work.
Cowboy Jesus
As a Texan casket maker, you could count on Willet Babcock to have a grave like no one else, and boy, did he deliver. Before his death, he asked Gustave Klein, an extraordinary stonecutter, for a special mount for his grave.
Some of the elements that the statue includes are a Cross and some angles, but the most impressive element of all is Jesus's figure, which in proper Texas spirit, is wearing cowboy boots.
Laughing Out Loud
In common internet slang, the initials LOL stand for "Laughing Out Loud," and is often interchangeable with a simple 'hahaha.'
While it is definitely possible that the initials of the dweller of this grave were LOL, we think it's more likely that this person wanted to reassure that they're fine and put a smile on their loved ones' faces.
Oh, Man...
It appears that Mitchell is not too happy about this whole dying thing, but that didn't stop him from making one last joke to lighten the mood.
Don't worry, Mitchell, it may not be what you expected, but all new beginnings take some getting used to, and with your sense of humor, we're sure it will happen in no time.
Die Hard Fan
While many choose to adorn their graves with elements such as religious symbols, flowers, or similar decorations, some have other ideas. You can count on a Star Wars fan to ask to be laid to rest under a tombstone worthy of a real Jedi.
May the force be with you, Theodore.
Get a Hobby
Found in Key West cemetery, this witty headstone belongs to Alan Dale Willcox. We don't know much about this man apart from him obviously being a funny guy. He must have been a hoot at parties.
We could also venture to guess he had some interesting hobbies himself. We bet his hobbies were unique and unexpected. Maybe basket weaving and miniature house building.
No Longer Interrupting
Good news for people that would rather be svelte in the rear – death is a great way to lose weight. These two headstones tell the truth, even if they are missing an apostrophe to make them grammatically correct. Skeletons are well-known for their shapely behinds, even if they are often the best part.
Sadly, the gluteus muscle fades away just like the rest of the body, which means they certainly do lose weight, just not in that way. Or, maybe, these two people were always inserting themselves into other conversations, and now they have no way to do so.
Classic Deadly Poems
If you think you've ever gotten mad that a package wasn't on time, just think about the tale of Lester Moore. He was a Wells Fargo office clerk who was shot dead by an enraged customer when the package was delivered damaged. It still happens today, but we imagine it was even more common back when this headstone was created.
The irate customer used a .44 pistol and dumped four shots into poor Lester, resulting in his death. Did all tombstones from the nineteenth century have pithy poems written on them or just this one?
Some Things Never Change
A lot of people post on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, or other social media sites with the hope of getting attention – likes, hearts, shares, reposts, and on and on. Some people decide to do it even after they've shuffled off this mortal coil with a fancy headstone.
The name “John Doe” gives us a little bit of pause, seeing as how it's the name for someone that doesn't have a name; this is probably just a mock-up of a headstone that someone came up with. If you're sick of social media, this is the kind of thing that you'll love.
Finally, Some Well-Deserved Rest
Sleep is one of the things that you can never have enough of. Whether you'll be late because the kids made a mess, getting up early because you have a big project due, or never getting enough sleep because of lifelong insomnia, we all wish we could have some extra shuteye.
A common saying tells us that you can sleep when you're dead, and this headstone has taken that a little bit too seriously. Being able to sleep forever sounds pretty great, but if there's no waking, what's the point of sleep? All the dreams will just turn into nightmares.
A Stone for a Dog
It's sobering, but there are probably millions of faithful pets in the big wide world that don't have their own headstone, even though they certainly deserve one. How many faithful dogs, cuddly cats, and calming fish lie forgotten under the ground? Well, one fewer thanks to this headstone, which is for the railroad dog Brownie.
Odds are, Brownie was a brown-coated pooch. But was he a train hopper's faithful companion on the long, dusty trail, or was he a kid's only friend during sunny Sundays and cold winter nights? We may never know, but it's clear somebody truly loved Brownie.
No, Really, I Think I'm Healthy
You probably know somebody that will tell you up and down and all day long that they aren't sick, they're totally fine, and that they don't need to go to the doctor. They could be saying such things even if they're sneezing, coughing, or bleeding, but that won't stop them.
Even if they're in the hospital, they might say that there's nothing wrong with them. Of course, once they're covered by a sheet, it's pretty easy to see that they were just putting on a brave face.
Unusually Cheerful
Headstones are, by their very nature, a depressing thing. Yes, death is natural and yes, we'll all have to come to grips with it at some point, but it's still sad to lose someone close to you. This headstone, however, wants you to know that you can still be happy, even while you're grieving.
We don't think this is the only thing on the headstone, though – it looks like this uplifting message is inscribed on the back of the headstone, while the traditional information is found on the front. How many people see that, do you think?
A Discussion for Another Time
We aren't experts on the theological here, but we guess this kind of statement is okay to have on a gravestone from that viewpoint. On the other hand, if you tell someone that has just lost a close friend or family member this kind of sentiment, you're likely to choke on a knuckle sandwich.
Asking to have it inscribed on your own headstone is one thing, inscribing it on someone else's headstone might be a dangerous proposition. You know what would have been even funnier, though? If the person who had carved this message had made a mistake. Glorious.
We're Ready to Fly
Plenty of us have passports lying around, and there are plenty of us who put them to frequent use, but this couple seems to love theirs so much that they made a headstone out of it. The back has “issued” and “expired” dates, but both expired dates are still blank – which we hope means this couple is still jet-setting around the world, visiting new places and finding new experiences until they stamp the final page.
They know one day they'll have to make good use of a headstone, and they're dedicated to getting the most out of life.
Took It to Her Grave
“You'll get my cookie recipe over my dead body” doesn't mean what we thought it meant, apparently. If you're wondering, oleo is margarine – basically, it's the fat and oil in the cookies that most would get from butter. But the steps are a bit strange, and there's something missing – how long do you cook them?
Maybe there just wasn't enough space on the headstone for all that info. The front side of this headstone, of course, has all the usual details: name, birth, death, and maybe a nice saying. But the back is where all the good stuff is.
You Have to Respect It
There are a lot of possible reasons for a headstone like this one. Maybe the person buried here had a name starting with F. Maybe the person just really liked that letter in particular for some reason. Maybe they thought that one moment from “Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare” was really funny.
We couldn't tell you, but this grave certainly draws the I. Chances are the last name starts with F. There are plenty of gravestones all over the world that do that sort of thing. Maybe he was just a really bad student? That's probably not it.
A Hidden Message
At first glance, the back of this tombstone (John McCaffrey, found in Notre-Dame-Des-Neiges Cemetery in Montreal) has a kind, well-meaning epitaph. It's a little all over the place, but we're sure his friends mean well one way or another. Of course, then you read the first letter of each line and find out how they really feel about their departed friend John.
That's not very friendly. However, the “missed by your friends” bit tells us that while they can still drop some harsh words, it's probably all in good fun one way or another, and they're still sad he's gone.
Arguing in the Great Beyond
Just because a long-wedded couple is no longer together in life doesn't mean the relationship has ended. While it's possible that this was planned beforehand, it's just as likely that one of them passed away (for some reason, it feels like the mister went first) and left a funny note.
Then the second to go (likely the wife) added her own spin on the joke. They might have bickered, but surely they loved each other, otherwise, they wouldn't have played along so well. Just because you bicker with someone, that doesn't mean you can't also love them.
I Wonder What He Liked Maybe
There are plenty of unique gravestones and headstones out there, and here's a premium example. Champion billiards player Walter Lindrum in the Melbourne General Cemetery comes with a fake pool table, a couple of balls, and even a pool cue.
You can't use them to play, unfortunately, even though we think Lindrum would have enjoyed such a thing – there's just no way to keep the balls or cue from being stolen, damaged, or worn out by the weather. Still, it's a unique gravestone that sticks in your mind, just like a pool cue would if thrown hard enough.
A Man of the People
There are lots of sober graves that will have you wondering about what kind of person is stretched out beneath your feet. Usually, we get little more than a name, birth date, death date, and some affiliations. Karl Bratz, however, wanted people to know he was the generous sort.
He decreed that a large beer barrel would be part of his final resting place, including the inscription “Have a drink on me.” A touch more literal than how it's usually understood, but people seem to have taken to it since we can see gifts of wine bottles in the shot.
Never Stop the Hustle
Just because you're in the afterlife doesn't mean you can't earn fast cash. It makes perfect sense for a professed psychic to be able to give you a hand even after she's passed on, though it doesn't tell us where we're supposed to put the bills. Do you think she takes Paypal?
Honestly, five dollars for a palm reading isn't a bad deal, but that's likely because Rita can't update her prices for inflation. And how does she tell you the details of your life based on arbitrary lines on your palm? In a dream? Do you get an email?
Hitting Them Hard
At the end of a long life, a lot of us will have no choice but to look back at some of the mistakes we've made. This man has done a similar thing – despite, as the included information tells us, that he is still alive.
He made a headstone calling two of his wives the meanest women in the world while he was still alive. What chutzpah. If he dies under suspicious circumstances, we know exactly who to investigate. There's even a little bit of rhyming thrown in there, too. This man's an artist and likes to live dangerously.
That's What You Get for Fiddling
An artist is never respected in his own time. Van Gogh, Sylvia Plath, Otis Redding...and Kelly, the fiddler. We all know this Kelly character, don't we? With his famous song...okay, maybe not every artist is going to be remembered long after death.
Since this fiddlin' cat died in the late stages of the nineteenth century in a poor house, you could say he's lucky to have a gravestone at all – especially one that has stood the test of time so well. Maybe the cemetery (or graveyard, there is a difference) updates the stones to keep them in good condition.
Poor Sense of Direction
Yes, by all accounts, the move to the afterlife is one that is hard to screw up. There aren't any other paths, no winding streets, and most theories say there is some sort of guide, just in case. No matter where you're headed, you'll get there.
And good thing, too, because this dearly departed must have been legendary for her ability to get lost. It happens to all of us every once in a while, and the advent of GPS has made many people far more reliable, but poor Lexie here wasn't able to make use of such modern advances.
The Standard Order
It seems that even those no longer with us get hungry for some tasty food every once in a while. And not in a scary zombie way, either. The headstone up close shows us a couple with the last name "Burger." Look closely at the headstone on the right, and you'll find that the family has the name "Fries."
We'd love to say this was planned, but even if the people picking their plots noticed, they might not have cared much. Burial plots are pricey. The headstone on the left probably doesn't say “Coke,” though we really wish it did.
This Guy Was a Dad
Not only was he a father, but he was a medical personnel of some kind as well – the Caduceus, the rod with two snakes, is a dead giveaway. If the epitaph is any indication, it seems he was also a fan of shutting up and letting others think you're stupid, rather than opening your mouth and removing all doubt.
Whether he asked for this to be added to his final resting place, or his family decided it was the best memorial, it must have been best to talk smart around this doc.
Everybody's Having a Good Time
Found at a beach graveyard, this tombstone is going with the flow of the area. Mark the Welder lived a happy fifty-six years, welding and using illicit substances and maybe even riding the waves if the wording on the headstone is any indication.
Just because you've passed on doesn't mean you have to be all mopey. Go on, have a laugh, relax a little bit. Chew the fat with Mark the Welder. How good of a welder do you have to be to have it printed on your tombstone? This guy is an ever-unfolding mystery.
Forget What?
It's sad – sobering, really – to think about, but eventually, you will be forgotten. Friends will pass, family members will fade. Your great-great-great-great grandchildren will know you existed, but they'll know nothing about you. This headstone looks like it's trying to jump-start the process by including no information. Of course, there is another explanation for this.
The name "Forget" (pronounced For-jet) is common in Quebec (where this cemetery is found), and the person likely hasn't passed away yet. Thus, no information is inscribed on the headstone just yet. Or maybe someone just failed to get it done.
Something to Stand Out
We're trying to figure out why this person had his tombstone look like a couple of papers and a paperclip, but we can't come up with a good reason. Maybe he just really liked paperclips. If you're wondering, the Dutch sentence at the bottom says, “The happiness only lasted for a while,” likely meaning his time with his loved ones.
As far as we can tell, there's no reason for Gert de Kooter to demand a headstone like this one other than to have something a little different in the graveyard. You do you, Gert.
There Are Always Bad Names
Plenty of kids have goofy names they'll blame their parents on once they grow up. Probably while in therapy. But this didn't start in the twenty-first century, as this headstone can attest. A family with the last name "York" thought it would be a gas to name their son “New,” and nobody stopped them.
New York had to go through eighty-two years of life with that kind of name. It's possible he changed his name to this, but we can't think of any reason why, unless he was some kind of performer, and you'd think the headstone would mention that.
A Friend to the End
There are lots of good boys out there, and it's clear that this one is one of the goodest. Instead of flowers, people bring sticks to this dog's grave, and nobody has the heart to remove them, so the pile just grows and grows.
The dog's name is Rex, which we think is one of the classic dog names, up there with Spot. What could this dog have done to deserve such an esteemed statue of himself? Did he save lives? Was he a search and rescue dog? Maybe he was just that great to be around.
Well, You Don't Have to Tell Everybody
That's right. If you can't find a way to afford a headstone, a graveyard will tell everyone you didn't invest properly. No, we kid, we kid – this is clearly the name of a family that has yet to pass on, so it's blank for now.
This might be a larger family plot since that headstone on the left also bears the name "Poor." These poor, poor people will eventually have to take their place in the ground just like the rest of us, but until then, they leave a somewhat chuckle-worthy headstone for others to puzzle over.
The Hypochondriac's Creed
After forty-seven years, Helen Linley was the expert on her body. She'd gone through illnesses and diseases, maybe broken bones or other trips to the emergency room, and she was pretty certain she was sick. And look at that, she was. Pretty darn sick, in fact.
She decided the best way to have the last laugh over the people who didn't believe her was to add that fact to her headstone to ensure everyone who visits her remembers that they didn't trust her intuition. The next time you hear someone say she might be sick, give it a second thought.
Bringing Back a Classic
Just based on the available options, they have a fifty-fifty chance. Here's an example of a pithy quote that you, too, can put on your headstone if you don't want anybody to know any of the details of your life and are unoriginal.
That many words take up quite an amount of space on a headstone, and sometimes there isn't a lot to work with, so if you want this kind of sentiment, you're going to have to sacrifice something. Nobody really needs to know when you died, do they? You're dead; what's the point of knowing the actual day?
Do We Have To?
While there are plenty of hilarious headstones around, there are also lots that try to say something that should, in theory, be helpful to the living. This is one of the latter. And, while it has a nice meter to it, it doesn't really tell us anything that we don't know already.
You were alive, now you're dead, and we'll be dead at one point, too? Yeah, thanks for letting us know. M. and T. Farrington just wanted to help people out, and maybe it will, but most people won't get anything new from a visit to this grave.
It's All I Have Left
Birth date? Not important. Death date? Nobody's business. Other details of her life, such as what she accomplished, her family, and loved ones? Doesn't matter as long as you keep off the grass. It's traditionally poor form to stand right on top of someone's grave – it's been said you can feel it.
This tiny hunter wanted to ensure she never had to deal with that sort of thing, so she added a note for people to stay away. We're sure it's all in good fun, of course, but it is strange there isn't anything else on the headstone.
The Other One. No, the Other Other One
While we have, sadly, lost the legendary Betty White the same way we lose everyone, this Betty White went a bit earlier. She also wanted to make sure that there was no confusion about which Betty White was being mourned when people took a trip to her grave.
We have to imagine there are quite a number of Betty Whites out there — it isn't the most complicated name. Is it annoying to be confused for a famous person constantly? We imagine that there's a really good reason why this sort of thing ended up on this lady's headstone.
Now Nobody Controls Me
You go through life trying not to get squashed by the thumb or the boot heel of anybody above you. You fight your way out, never let anybody have your reigns, and finally reach the end of your life, a free man. What's the best way to celebrate? Put a snappy epitaph on your tombstone, of course.
The fact that the line is in quotes tells us that it's something Alexander Sawyer Houston was known to have said, and his loved ones decided that it was a good way to memorialize him. He was just that kinda guy.
Never to Be Forgotten
Now here's a headstone you'll remember. It didn't just have some words carved on there — you got to see Shawn Lee Miller Welsh in his full, mustachioed and mulleted glory, wreathed in tire smoke from what was, presumably, his winningest whip. The man was a champion drag racer which, of course, means he gets a better headstone than most.
Just imagine the time and effort that went into etching this complicated image. Obviously, computers do most of the hard work, but it's so much more complicated than a standard stone. People must have been nervous about messing it up.
This Seems Planned
At first, it looks like this is a rather unfortunate tombstone – most people would rather not be associated with such flatulence after they pass away – but we'd like to think that Art has a rather good sense of humor. Who cares if people laugh at his name after he's gone?
Maybe some kids will see it and laugh while being dragged through the graveyard to visit a grandparent and get a smile on their faces. Maybe family members will smile and remember Art for his jokes and gags, and try to forget the smells that sometimes escaped.
And That's All We Can Ask for
Life is long and hard, and then you're thinking about where you want to be buried. It's a bit of a sad fact, but it's still true for most people. We don't know the details of this lady's life – we don't even know her name – but we bet that she would think something similar.
Maybe she raised some kids, maybe she worked, maybe she did any number of things, but it's clear she did what she could. Will she be in the history books or the record books? Not likely. But she might still be in some hearts.
The Name? Or a Parting Message?
Some people like to be short and sweet when it comes to the things that are inscribed at their final resting place. A pithy quote or something that will let others remember them as they were, not just as they are now.
This one is either a quick goodbye or the name of the people that will be down there, and honestly, it's a little hard to tell. Of course, we're angling toward the name, since it looks like a traditional stone. Also, this is a couple, and cooler heads often prevail when it comes to headstones in a couple.
Telling It Like It Was
We get the feeling that seeing their mother lowered into the ground wasn't the kind of thing that drove Buddy, Jackie, and Mike to tears. In fact, it might have been the best day of their lives. People say not to speak ill of the dead, but sometimes the dead deserve it.
Sometimes they really deserve it. Sometimes they are mean and cruel, and they deserve to be spoken ill of. Thankfully, Mona is now free of all those people who continually let her down, which we're sure was definitely their fault every time.
I've Been a Bit Tired Lately
The long-awaited rest has finally come for both Charles and Bernice Gallagher, and both of them are content to stay down there until judgment day. We're told that grandpa Charles had a wicked sense of humor – not only did he add this to the headstone, but he would also go to the graveyard, lie down on the grass, and ask, “How do I look?”
Looking death in the eye and smiling is something that not everybody can do, but once you hit a certain age you start to lose your fear. May we all laugh at our eventual demise.
Domino's Is Giving Back
There's a lot to take in right here. Let's start with the easy part. Why two stones? Well, the one at the bottom is called the footstone (compare it to the headstone). Some plots require this to mark out the entire length of the plot. It's likely that Mr. Rubin was cremated if he only takes up that much space.
As for the pizza company in the corner...your guess is as good as ours. Maybe Domino's Pizza was helping people afford headstones, maybe Nathan really liked him some pie, or maybe his family put it there as a joke.
Double Burial
This sober plot contains the remains of two people – sisters. Not just that, but twin sisters, as well. One of them, Emily, lived a mere two days. A sad fact. The other, Minnie, lived to the ripe age of a hundred and one years, and if there's a better way to display that life can sometimes just come down to random chance, we haven't seen it.
Losing a child is one of the hardest things to deal with, but it's clear that the twin was loved enough by the parents. She even opted to be buried with her sister.
Final Curtain Call
Jack Uhler Lemmon was an acclaimed American actor who could make you laugh as easily as he could make you cry. Starring in over sixty movies, Lemmon cemented his place in Hollywood royalty. He was a performer to the end, so a traditional headstone just wouldn't do him justice.
So, it makes sense that in Lemmon fashion, he simply went out by announcing his latest, and final, role.