Cole was in the mood for some late-night loving but his girlfriend was in the mood for something else entirely. Something sugary and milky. Sure, she was in bed, but her activity of choice was not the one Cole had in mind. To be honest, we get it.
Cereal is pretty neat. It’s sweet, it’s comforting, it’s easy to make, and you can even have it in bed. This dish is perfect for any time of the day. Or night. We see this girl’s point. Frankly, we’ll take a bowl of cereal over any random guy on our phone anytime.
That's a Burn
Have you ever sent a text to the one you love only to get knocked down in return? Of course, you have! We all have! And no one knows that feeling any better than this poor helpless person who hoped to get some love in the form of a sweet text message. But that's not what happened!
So when Crush sent this very poetic rejection message, it became clear that the feelings were not so mutual. We do hope that this was just a bad day and this person does, in fact, love them as much a starry, starry night.
The Die-Hard Fan
If you have kids, you know that bedtime can be the most challenging time of the day, to say the least. If that kid isn't tired, it's not happening. So when this struggling aunt thought she'd "lull" this four-year-old to sleep with one of the most epically violent shows on television, mom disagreed.
But no, not for the reasons you think! If there's one thing a "Game of Thrones" fan detests, it's spoilers, and this dedicated viewer was not going to tolerate her son missing out on any plot points. Now that's a good mom!
Rock Johnson
There are some celebs out there who have had careers so long and so varied that it's almost as if they become two different people! Like the drummer from Nirvana and the frontman of Foo-fighters...what are their names again? Oh right, they're both Dave Grohl!
Becky made the classic mistake of thinking that ex-wrestler, The Rock, and current actor, Dwayne Johnson are in fact, two different people. What's even better, this dude totally went along with it, trolling poor Becks!
Mr. Attitude
Hey buddy, don't get smart! This Uber Eats dude lost his cool for some reason and thought it would be okay to snap back at the girl he's delivering to. Looks like the rest of the response was cut out, or just too rude to share!
We hope she got her grub at the end and that Uber Eats guy chilled out. Why so spikey, bro?
Picking up the Ladies
It's a bit of a cliche but we'll be the first to admit it, there is something very attractive about a handsome man doting lovingly over his daughter. Yep, sometimes the ladies can be pretty basic like that. Smart dude for knowing how to take advantage.
Unfortunately, this pesky mom got on her high horse and said no to his very reasonable proposition. The nerve! We're kidding! No place for liars here, we hope he didn't fool any innocent victims with a different fake child.
For Crying Out Loud
Nobody wants to get their heart broken, especially in front of people, or in this case, in someone else's auditory range. Yikes, how embarrassing. But if you do happen to be a witness to someone else's breakup, be chill about it.
Not like Ryan over here, who made darn sure to crush this poor soul's already smushed-up heart. Well, it's sort of amusing, maybe. Heaven knows we'd be down to listen to a recording of what went down there!
Emoji Feud
We know that mustache from miles away, that's Family Feud's, Steve Harvey. At least parts. The rest? Well, some genius troll created this hilarious image with the smart use of emojis and two enlarged parts of the funny man's face.
What are they implying here? The fact that Steve Harvey has really small features and a huge head? We have no idea, either way, it's just too funny to look at!
The Lord Has Spoken
You can't take Tristan anywhere without him making a scene. The guy can't even handle behaving at a Walmart! While that may be kind of annoying for the employees, the scene described here is actually hilarious and we wish we were there when it happened.
We're also pleased that old Tristan took the news in stride. Whether he remembers it or not, he is right about this being pretty awesome.
Patience, Dear
Sometimes, in those heated and ferocious texting sessions, when you're in the middle of a very long textologue, (that's text monologue) you need the other person to just hang back with the replies. In these cases, messages can very quickly ping pong back and forth without a proper point ever being made, and this person was having none of that!
And neither was their buddy, who turns out, is really just a massive troll. This poor texter was so eager to send their long message without interruption, but in a cruel twist of irony, the only person in the way of that was, in fact, themselves.
Baby Names
Perhaps if you're in Hollywood, you can get away with naming your kid "Tomorrow," but we regular folks tend to go with more traditional sounding names. Come on dad, don't get fancy here, just name the kid "John." At least that's according to Dylan.
Jokes aside, we know this dude is trolling poor dad. There's no way that anyone is actually naming the baby Tomorrow! He's only referring to the fact the naming ceremony, will be in fact, TOMORROW.
Oh, Nana
Hats off to all the grandmas who are so with it that they're texting their grandkids about our favorite pop bands. Even if they're a little off the mark, we appreciate the effort. This nana wanted to see if her grandkid saw the band One Dimention.
You know the band, the one with Barry Myles and Malik what's his face. Ah yes, nana. I haven't seen them yet, but I sure would love to...
Healing Time
We're so glad that Ryan Neighbor is there in times of need. A broken heart needs words of comfort and good company. Though it seems that this is not where this poor soul is going to get it.
Ryan Neighbor just wanted a burrito, and money for it too! Come on man, read the proverbial room. And also, get a job. How can you not afford a burrito?
Establishing Your Relationship
Emojis are an excellent way of communicating your feelings, and the fact that they are so varied really helps us get more nuanced messages across. Like, for example, the colors of hearts, a thing you don't want to get wrong.
If red is love and blue is friendship, then these two people cleared up something quite crucial. Hopefully, no one's feelings were hurt in the end but it is important to know, who is your friend and who is your lover.
Dr. Google
From diagnoses to treatments, Google has got you covered for all your medical needs (most of the time.) Thankfully this super important text message, though sent to the wrong person, still landed up in the right hands.
The saddest part about this message is that the medical experts figured it out later. On the other hand, we are pleased to know that they didn't just Google it.
The Allah Cart Menu
Kev needed to know if the restaurant they were going to was "allah cart" supposedly so he could better prepare himself? Well, Kev, if you are going to ask, we implore you to first find out how to write it.
This is a French word, so you're going to have to be a little careful with your spelling. That's à la carte, to you sir! Where is your class?
Buddy, Did I Stutter?
It seems that little Checkers is one robust little cat that can withstand the natural elements and even wild animals. At least that's what his owner seems to think. When letting his pesky neighbor know about that, he did not intend on holding back.
We feel a little bad for the neighbor though, who was only trying to be nice! Well, if anything happens to Checkers, it's not on his conscience that's for sure.
Got Your Nose
When you're so drunk you're trying to bite your own nose and fear it running away, that's pretty drunk! And it sounds like classic Sean who just can't hold his beer. Thankfully he had his trusted bestie there to make him feel safe.
Or so we hoped. Looks like his bud just had a good time cracking up at his silly friend. Honestly, we can't blame him.
Bad Energy Barbara
Do you know these dating app profiles of people who write "good vibes only" on their bio? Yeah, they probably shouldn't swipe right on Barbara. This proud daughter posted her mom's savage text about her sour aunt Baraba, insisting that there is no way she is coming to this year's Thanksgiving dinner.
Mom only wants good vibes and Aunt Barbara is just so not that. We do appreciate the time her daughter took to show off her mom's text. We do always love a vibe check, and Mom did it perfectly. Sorry Barb, we hope you are not on Twitter.
Bless You!
It's a social must to say bless you to the person who sneezes. A sneezer should never go unblessed like that. We shudder at the thought. So when this understandably hurt man told off his girlfriend for not blessing him, we could only sympathize.
Oh, how alone he must have felt. How ignored. How utterly sick with no one to care for him, not even his girlfriend. On the other hand, his Google search is a touch on the dramatic side. At the end of it all, this little exchange is actually very amusing. We hope his feelings weren't too hurt.
Poor Missy
There are so many things to do on Saturday night. So many hangouts to hang. So many attractions to enjoy. So many friends to see. But if you're Missy, Alexa just isn't one of them. Alexa's friends aren't messing around. They know who they want at the sleepover, and it sure as heck isn't Missy.
The last time she came over, it was a total downer. Thankfully, Alexa's mom is fully behind her daughter's decision. We hope Missy's mom gets the message, and while we feel somewhat bad for her daughter, we have a hunch that both Missy and her mom are kind of annoying to be around. These things are usually genetic.
Bye, Good Night. Now Go Away
Insomnia is not uncommon so there are loads of things you can do to try to help yourself get that sweet, sweet pillow time. For example, when you can't sleep, it can be soothing to turn to the one you love for some comfort. Or at least some late-night chit-chat, whatever keeps those nighttime jitters away.
Unfortunately, sometimes you can bark up the wrong tree. Like in this case, whoever received that message, clearly was in the same situation, and in fact, wanted a peaceful and restful night without the messaging. So ultimately, it was good night and good riddance!
New Crush
We've all had that feeling when our crush texts us and our faces light up from seeing what is on the screen. It's the most obvious thing in the world and the best way to spot a little blossoming romance. But sometimes that grin isn't about love.
At least not love for a special for someone, but rather, a tasty-looking dish, which, let's face it, is sometimes a lot more satisfying. (Also, the dish has a significantly lower chance of ultimately breaking our hearts.) So when mom caught her daughter's eyes light up from her phone, she naturally had questions.
It's a Life-Style
There are certain shows in the world that are far more than just mere entertainment, they are a way of life, and if you've seen "Parks and Recreation," you'll understand what we're talking about. What a sweet show. So wholesome, so sweet. Like a cookie for the soul. If you need to pick one show to be the thing you do with your life, that is the perfect choice.
Looks like this person has it all figured out. Luckily for them, they have seven seasons to get through, so that'll surely keep them busy for quite some time. Unfortunately for whoever texted them the big existential question, that might be bad news.
Getting Heated
When chatting with a significant other, things can get a little spicy, at least that's what one of these two hoped for. Instead, they were met with a literal picture of chili peppers. We're sure that's not what they had in mind.
It got even worse when the flaming "U" was sent in return. Damn, well, this person seems to be barking up the wrong tree. Time to move on, buddy. There will be nothing hot and heavy in that text chain today. Now take a cold shower and maybe clean the living room. Lord knows it's been way too long.
Landlord Woes
It can be challenging to get your landlord's attention. You can call, you can text, but it's only rarely that they respond to their tenant's desperate cries. In this case, our guy sent his landlord a message communicating that the hot water is quite simply "broken." We will let the linguistic aspect of it slide for now.
Unfortunately, there's no real way to convey this in pictures, so it looks like this was the best he could do. Funny? Yes. We just hope the landlord didn't reply with something equally ridiculous like, "looks fine to me!" Knowing their reputation, it's likely.
The Broken Record
When you get a certain jam in your head and can't let it go, others around you might suffer. But hey, that's their problem! You just want to focus on that killer track, even if that happens to be for three hours straight. We honestly can't quite fathom loving a song that much.
Playing it on repeat, let's say... five times, is understandable, but going at it for three hours? Then again, who are we to judge? This guy certainly judged, not only the sheer length of time during which this person played the song, but also the actual song itself!
Damn Autocorrect
This evil daughter tricked her dad with a little autocorrect adjustment. Apparently, she wasn't too fond of daddy-dearest using the word "kewl" in his texts. Can we blame her? Sigh, boomers. Just stick to your own slang! This genius prank probably left him completely stumped.
Proud of her achievements and wanting to share them with the rest of the world, she then went online and posted this screenshot to Twitter! We wonder if she started a global trend of kids trolling their dads' (or their moms') autocorrect. If so, we can only imagine the hilarious things that came out of it.
R.I.P Car
When this certain individual got a "my condolences" text, their first response was that it was the wrong number of course, because, fortunately, there was no tragedy that they knew of! We are happy about that, but there's more. Turns out Chloe had that text locked and loaded.
We imagine the look on her face when she pressed send, we assume it was a look of pure satisfaction. That car was parked where it wasn't supposed to be parker for way too long. There was even a warning. Clearly, Chloe was waiting to tow it up up and away. That'll teach you!
Ex Texting
It's hard to let go of an ex, sometimes that little heart takes a while to heal. Throw some drinks into the mix and you have a recipe for an unhinged drunk texter. Looks like this girl wanted to let her ex know the terrible effects of curry noodles.
However, she ended up sending the message to her mother, which probably didn't have the kind of disastrous repercussions of texting that no-longer-boyfriend of hers. Mom wasn't too fazed by the message and just sent an "ok" with a few kisses. Now that's definitely not the kind of reply you would get from an ex.
Hi, It's Dog
Hey there! It's me, I'm a dog! Don't ask any questions, just behold my cuteness and stare in wonder. That's essentially what's happening here. (Either that or the sender's name is Doug.) While we are confused, we blame neither the dog nor the sender because gosh, that thing is cute.
The twist in the story though? This person confused the little pooch for a cat! How is that possible? We simply have no idea. This person needs to learn about animals pronto. In any case, that is one cute dog. Why would you want anyone to stop sending you pictures of it?
The Nodship
Melissa would like you to know that she has no interest in your boring small talk and would much rather conclude any interaction with a friendly nod and simply move on. She's not trying to be rude but she wants you to know that talking to you is simply unbearable and that she'd like to avoid it.
Well, this person got your message loud and clear. No small talk is necessary, in fact, if you're looking for simple gestures to use in the hallways, he sure has one for you. While we hate awkward small talk, we kinda hate Melissa now more.
Pool Party
So, basically, could you not show up and embarrass me in front of my super cool hipster friends? Yeah, that's not going to happen, as this hardened biker wants the sender to know. In fact, this annoying message will produce the exact opposite of what they want.
Now that biker guy knows the party is on, seems like he's suddenly inspired to make his own little shindig with his own wild friends. They probably should have just said nothing, to begin with, and let Mr. Biker Dude go ahead with whatever joyride he would have gone on with his gang.
A Special Exception
Some properties just don't allow pets. They tend to get loose outside, make a mess, and sometimes even noise. Sometimes it bothers other neighbors, and if it's an especially rambunxious pet, it might also damage the property. It's sad, because who wouldn't want a fluffy friend at home? They make the best companions ever.
It took just this picture to convince the landlord to change his policy. How can you resist this cat? Yes, that smile seems a little photoshopped but, hey, looks like they got away with it anyway. Let's just hope Kitty behaves itself. We have a feeling it will be alright.
Easy There, Mom
Looks like someone wanted to take Mrs. Whoever She Is for a romantic breakfast at IHOP. Apparently, he tried to get this woman to leave her loving hubby and five kids for a soiree at the wild pancake franchise. Well, this woman was having absolutely none of that, especially since he didn't even want to pay for it!
If you ask a woman out, try to have a little more class. Hang on, this is just the woman's daughter Gracie. Dear Lord, woman! What a wild imagination. And also, how is your daughter's number not saved on your phone? What's that all about?
Late-Night Cleaning
When asked "are you seriously vacuuming at 1:40 am?" the answer was as literal as could be! Of course, this person would not vacuum seriously! Who does that? Cleaning is generally a fun activity that involves good vibes, smiles, music, and of course the odd "bootie shake" here and there. How would you even vacuum seriously? Stare intently at the dust while holding a briefcase?
Even if it is after 1 AM. Understandably their neighbor doesn't quite agree with this and insisted that they shut it off immediately. But Vacuum Person was just having far too much fun to listen. Rude or funny, you decide!
He's Bringing Chilli
This guy would like Andrew to know that he will be attending the potluck on Saturday and that he will in fact be bringing chili. He is bringing the chili. Did you get that? We believe that Andrew got the message loud and clear. Hang on, this isn't Andrew.
The guy should probably retype the phone number and try again. Oh wait, it's still not Andrew. Let's try again. Like, five more times. Or seven. And one final time for good measure. Oh well, who cares. Whether or not you're Andrew, you now know that this dude is bringing chili to the potluck.
Fantastic, Yes
Mom's enthusiasm reached new heights when she heard about her kid's outstanding grade in chemistry. So much so that she unknowingly cursed about it! In her defense, she had no idea what the actual meaning of WTF was. It almost looks like she's doubting her son or daughter's abilities.
Unfortunately, the poor mom genuinely believed the popular online acronym stood for "Well That's Fantastic." Surprisingly, no one had bothered to rectify her misconception, which could potentially lead to more amusing situations in the future. As time progresses, the misinterpretation of this phrase might continue to fuel comedic misunderstandings within their household.
Wrestler Cats
We've heard of laser cats, but now wrestler cats? Sure felines can be pretty vicious but we doubt they're going to pick up any moves from the likes of current pro wrestlers on WWE. No matter how cool those guys look, it ain't doing much for cats.
That being said, it can't hurt to try! Who knows, maybe one day their cats will get feisty enough to try out a move or two. Just keep them fed and happy in any case. Also, if you're looking for a pet that can protect you, try to consider a guard dog. A cat won't care about you as much.
Auto Text Has Gone Haywire
One cool feature in mobile phones is the ability to turn on a 'Do Not Disturb' mode. This feature allows you to block all incoming calls and automatically send their respective numbers a custom message, explaining that you’re not available to answer. A technological feature that actually helps us stay focused? How innovative!
Anyway, this Dad probably set his automatic response message to “In a meeting”, which could explain this weird sequence of identical messages. We fail to understand how someone can send the exact same message so many times in any other way. Perhaps the kid’s father just really didn’t want to talk.
Basic Logic 101
While some parents feel that they can’t really talk to their children, there are many kids who feel the same way about talking to their parents. Usually, one of the two thinks and talks in more emotional terms, while the other uses logic to make sense of things.
When a parent isn’t fluent in their child’s language, it is often the children who are in the frustrating position of trying to communicate basic facts. Luckily, these exchanges can still give someone a good laugh, but that depends on their ability to turn an ironic situation into something funny rather than sad.
An Important Question
It’s always a scary situation when something that looks like a distress signal is communicated. Your entire life can change when your parent evokes something that smells like danger in their text, which is why Mom should probably be more careful next time in the way she articulates her texts.
Hopefully, her daughter updated her that texting the police doesn’t work. Well, not yet at least, but there is always hope that law enforcement might join us in modern times. Of course, by then, we will all be using tele-chips or some other piece of future technology and texting would be useless.
Lack of Knowledge in the Art of Emojis
Back in the day, millennials had to use various letters and signs to create their emojis. This was a creative and brave exploration of combining language with artful communication. Many of us remember the time when ‘:-p’ meant sticking your tongue out and ‘:-o' meant you were surprised.
There was even ';-)' to serve as a winky face and you could tell your crush you loved them with '<3'. Parents have sort of skipped that generation and went straight to today’s graphic, done-for-you emojis. Many of them don’t know how to activate and use these, which is what sets the stage for this funny exchange.
Tough Parenting
People often have the dilemma of either complimenting their child/spouse for something that they don’t agree with or just telling them the truth at the risk of being offensive. These are usually people you care about and the last thing you want to do is hurt their feelings. Not this mom, though.
This mother clearly does not care one bit about offending her daughter, as she breezes past her daughter’s social inadequacies like she is discussing tomorrow’s weather forecast. Cloudy with a chance of antisocial. If there’s one child on this list that most urgently needs some therapy, it’s gotta be this one.
Finding the Spacebar
The texts in this picture start with a loving message from a child to their parent. It quickly turns into a weird dramatic sensation before the mother replies. While many parents can get on board with the idea of having a touch-based keyboard, not all of them get how it works.
Also, many times, their fingers could be a little bigger and not as nimble as their offspring's. Many resort to some kind of speech-to-text technology, but sometimes it just means that they are replacing one set of mistakes for another. We are just happy to see that the mom in this text exchange is open to learning.
No. Just... No.
We’re sure that this father genuinely wanted to tell his kid that he forgot his cell phone at home. Unfortunately, sometimes we get so attached to our mobiles that we forget that they are not us. The average person spends almost 100% of their day (including their sleep) next to their phone.
This is why when someone loses their phone, our first instinct is to call their phone to tell them. Hopefully, the dad realized his error and attempted to contact his kid in some other way. The alternative, where the father didn’t realize his mistake, is just too scary to imagine.
Supportive Parents
Sometimes parents like to tease their kids for their failures and weaknesses. It is not necessarily a thing they do out of spite or malice, but more like a way to build the child’s character. (That's the most common excuse we hear anyway.)
Getting a great morning message like that is usually a sweet, fun way to start your day. Until you get to the end and realize it's from your own mother. A mother who relishes having her daughter's hopes and dreams crushed. Hopefully, this daughter took her Mom’s tough love and managed to make the most of it.
Encouraging Parents
Some parents ascribe to the school of only giving their child positive reinforcement, while others employ a bit of tough love to get their kids together. Luckily, this mother has learned the ins and outs of motivation and uses her own unique method for making her child more social.
She calls this the “bully method”, and has implemented it for the last few years with her children. Of course, most of them are extremely depressed and unsuccessful, but that’s because the method is currently a work in progress. Once it is complete she will have a small army of kids who were bullied to success.
Revenge of the Moth
In what is perhaps the best bit of dad humor on this list, this father chose to educate his daughter on the importance of bravery by mirroring her doomsday scenario with a smart retort of his own. Good one, Dad.
This girl is in serious trouble when you consider that she’s dealing with a super moth that can actually type on a mobile phone. Maybe it's Mothman — a human/moth hybrid created in a nearby nuclear waste site. Hopefully, they ended up opening a window so that it could fly away peacefully and go bother different people in a different house.
Something Weird in the Background
We all love to occasionally share a picture with our loved ones. Sometimes we meet a special someone and want to let our family know, other times we encounter a beautiful vista that we just have to take a picture of.
Mothers and fathers are still getting the hang of the whole “camera on a phone” thing since they grew up in a time when phones and cameras were two separate objects. This mother seems to not have realized that her finger was on the camera lens, and it looks like her kid was just tired of trying to explain.
Nugget for Your Thoughts
When we are little, our parents teach us everything — how to use the bathroom, how to dress, how to eat with a fork — you know, the basics. This might be the reason why many kids find it so funny to find out there's something their parents don't know.
Hopefully, as they grow, they learn to be more compassionate about those things and teach their parents a thing or two of the newer kind of basic skills. You know, things like how to send an email and how to use Postmates. And obviously, how to manipulate their phone's keyboard.
Cereal Buzzkill
Cole was in the mood for some late-night loving but his girlfriend was in the mood for something else entirely. Something sugary and milky. Sure, she was in bed, but her activity of choice was not the one Cole had in mind. To be honest, we get it.
Cereal is pretty neat. It's sweet, it's comforting, it's easy to make, and you can even have it in bed. This dish is perfect for any time of the day. Or night. We see this girl's point. Frankly, we'll take a bowl of cereal over any random guy on our phone anytime.
Green Beans and Ham
Man, what a wild ride of a text exchange. So many questions and almost no answers in sight. Just how cheap are the green beans really? With such a self-explanatory name, how does the other person not even know what green beans are? Also, where can those magic beans be found? Who is the bean connoisseur and why don't they disclose their identity? We need answers!
You know what? We are nothing if not self-sufficient. We can guess some of the answers on our own. They don't have to be the right ones, though. Let's go, in order of appearance with these: $1.50, the person is color blind so they really don't know what green looks like, Walmart, and a secret admirer.
Pecan Pie Means Pecan Pie
Ah, yes. The classic prank of a kid swapping a word for a different word on their parent's phone. You can't go wrong with that one. Simple, funny, and, and easy enough to reverse so no real damage is done. Well, unless the parent was texting their boss or something like that.
And even then, this parent could have had it a lot worse. Let's just say that if the kid here was more prone to profanities things could have taken a really dark turn. Also, the prank just raised the probability of someone bringing home some pecan pie, which is always a good probability to raise.
Grandma's iPhone
Leon here is an exemplary grandson. He heard that Grandma got a new smartphone, and knowing how confusing these devices can be for people from a certain age, he immediately offered some help. Not only that, but he was quick to offer encouragement when learning that Grandma's texting dexterity needs some practice.
By the looks of it, it does, in fact, look like Grandma is going to need all the help she can get. Unless Oklahoma is code for something. Our guess is that she tried typing OK and then the phone's autocomplete just ran with it. Almost there Granny!
Honestly, Same
Oh, Oreos. Sweet heavenly cookies. Sugary sandwichy snacks of the gods. Who would have imagined there was a way of making these even better? And then came Oreo cereal and proved that anything is possible if you are righteous and your heart is pure.
Except we don't see many of those lately. Where have they gone? This can't be a popularity issue, can it? Someone needs to get on that case, and that someone is probably Sierra. It looks like this Sierra girl has her priorities straight. Cookies before pookies. That's our motto. Besides, anyone who doesn't prioritize Oreos doesn't belong with Sierra anyway.
Chicken for Dinner?
There are so many little windows to type text into on your phone that it is no surprise some older users get confused: there's the Google search bar, regular text messages, notes app, and Facebook Messenger. It's all too much. Mom could use a little road map. Anyway, spoiler alert — she is making chicken for dinner tonight. Or buying it? We're not sure, but there's definitely chicken involved. Oh, and avocado.
Mmmm... Chicken guacamole actually sounds fantastic. Is anyone else getting hungry? Does this mom mind setting up an extra plate for us? We promise to repay her kindness by teaching her the difference between texting and googling.
Drunk Jess
You are not yourself when you're drunk. Sometimes (not that often, though) you are a better version of yourself — you are less afraid, you show more love, and you even speak your second language better! If only alcohol made us smarter we may not have been sober a single day in our life.
Take Jess for example. Her drunk self took it upon herself to make lunch for her sober self and if that's not self-care then we don't know what is. The thing about Drunk Jess, though, is that she doesn't really think things through, because she's... well... drunk. We can, however, appreciate her kind intentions.
Midnight Snack
Well, technically, according to the time stamp here, the snack wasn't prepared or eaten at midnight, but a 1:15 AM snack doesn't have the same ring to it, does it? Also, if you ask us, any time is good enough time for some lightly fried fish fillets.
When we can't sleep we usually try some warm milk, breathing exercises, reading a little, or meditating. You know, calming low-pressure stuff. But this dad sounds like a much more productive guy than us. It's just sad that his kid can't appreciate the beauty of someone offering them lightly fried fish fillets. Now, can we please have the recipe?
Gotta Love Liz
Every person has that joke. A name joke they keep hearing from everyone they first meet. Somehow, everybody thinks that they are the first to come up with "Oh, you're Frank? I'm honest, nice to meet you." "Oh, Rob, I'll give you everything in my bag, just don't hurt me." Ha bloody ha. How original. Now get out of my way.
Not Liz, though. Liz sounds like a real stand-up gal. She must have heard the lizard joke more times than she can count (though this take on it must be new) and she's still in good spirits about it.
Just Let Her Sleep
It is a cute couples' thing to text each other good night at the end of the day if they are sleeping apart. You want your significant other to know you care and have them be the last thing you think about before you go to sleep.
It's actually kind of adorable. Well, at least it is until one of the parties decides they are in the mood for some different bedroom activities. Luckily, Sarah has a funny way of showing her boyfriend she's into actual sleep. It's also a subtle way to hint to him about leaving dirty dishes in the sink.
Punctuation Please
Actually, maybe asking for punctuation is asking for too much. Noah has had a little smokey adventure and honestly, we are impressed he could even type properly. Maybe a little bit of autocorrect was involved. What exactly did he take and how much of it? Most importantly — does he have any left and can we pop over for a visit? We'll bring snacks.
No Noah, you are not in the way of anything. But it's good to know you have enough mobility to contact a friend. That, and that those friends can be relied on during this challenging time.
This Is Dog
Picture this — you meet someone nice on the street. You flirt. You exchange numbers. Things seem like they're looking up. And then you text that person and things are looking even better! What a miracle! Things like that almost never happen nowadays. Then again, this was in 2012 so maybe "nowadays" is not the right word.
Anyway, not only is the guy nice, cool, and tactful enough to chat you up, but he also has a dog and a great sense of humor. Maria has hit the jackpot! We hope that they are now happily married and that their dog still knows how to use the phone.
Nyoom
This is some next-level move. This article features several entries of kids changing words to other words on their parents' phones, but this one definitely takes the cake. One really devoted kid (though we are not sure how commendable it should be to be so invested in trolling your parents) had some time with his or her mother's phone and there was no holding back.
Expertly and diligently, the child changed as many words as possible to "Nyoom." Honestly, changing every word you could think of? Just how bored was this kid? Do they have a vague notion of how hobbies work?
The Thing
Isn't it lovely how people can have completely different associative connections to the same words? When encountered with "the thing", we immediately thought about "The Thing" from the Marvel Comic "Fantastic 4". Here, though, we can see that the original intention was some school notes, however, the person in the gray bubbles thought that "the thing" was some bedtime playtime.
No, dude. First, you pass the history exam, then you ask nicely, and if your partner is cool with it, only then you can get your version of "the thing." No one can have a good time with a history assignment looming over their heads.
No One Will Ever Know
When texting with someone who is presumably into some less-than-legal business, this guy was asked to make sure the whole interaction does not look suspicious. And that's exactly what he did. So stealthy. So inconspicuous. This dude should be working for the FBI.
This talented individual has been blessed with sharp intuition and a crisp understanding of how to keep things on the down low. There is no doubt that using the person's name would have been a lot more alarming. Or just any random name. We would have gone with "Aunt Phillis" but that sounds a lot more suspicious than the final choice here.
You Can't Handle the Truth
Oh, the things you find when you go antiquing. Little pieces of history, trinkets from the days of yore, horse-shaped high heels — it's all so intriguing and not at all nightmare-inducing. Obviously, you need to send a picture of your treasured findings to everyone you know. Even if that treasured finding will irk them beyond reason.
Can you imagine hearing a ping from your phone, seeing your friend sent you a picture, and then opening the message to THIS? We wouldn't wish it on anyone. If this horseshoe is, in fact, the truth, we would rather be living in a lie.
Creep Alert
Walking outside alone at nighttime isn't a very pleasant experience. It's dark and scary and everything makes weird noises. Walking outside alone at night is like being the star of a horror movie without the benefits of a script or a stunt double. To feel safer, many people resort to their phones and speak to a friend, be it via texts or actual phone calls.
This case, however, is one of the rare occasions where contacting a fellow human didn't make the nightwalker feel safer. In fact, it made them feel worse. No thanks. Next time, this person will probably take their chances indoors with Netflix.
I Said What I Said
Sophie's prom date wants to know he is following the rules and doing the right thing. The prom date's duties are pretty simple: wear a suit, pick her up, give her flowers, and share a dance. Except there was a good chance here that the flowers would be swapped for something else.
Sophie here doesn't seem to get just how lucky she is. While it's customary for young girls to wear a corsage gifted to them by their dates for prom, she could have scored something much, much better. We would take pastries over flowers anytime, anywhere. Sophie, take your carbs, hold that man and never let him go.
Phone Alone
Someone was hit in the face with a surprise pun. And by "someone" we mean us. We almost fell into that one ourselves. Fine, not almost — more like fell hard and bruised our knees. Yet, somehow, we liked it. We just love puns in any way, shape, or form.
We bet the person behind the gray text bubbles was facepalming the second they got the punchline. Let's just hope they didn't bruise themselves too. Props to the person behind the blue text bubbles, who figured out what must be the only way to connect American rapper Post Malone to Hollywood's most troubled little boy Macaulay Culkin.
Sign Us Up
Nobody likes missionaries. People usually don't appreciate other people trying to sell them stuff or make them believe in stuff. That being said, after seeing this text exchange, we can think of one exception. Does this religion take any new applicants? If so, who do we need to speak to?
This preaching cat with its whispy baton is in full command over our attention. We will let it lead us in prayer toward a world where we all have nine lives. While we are not cat people per see, we would definitely pay a visit to this house of worship. We'll even genuflect if we have to.
Alien Rice
All you have to do to cook rice is to boil it with water. But what if that water is sweetened and colored and had some electrolytes? That's when you get some funky blue rice like in this picture!
Now, as to why you would knowingly try to boil your rice with an isotonic beverage — that is a whole different question we don't really have the answer for. Our closest guess would be that you're an alien visiting Earth and trying to recreate some recipes from home. In that case, the alien identity is showing through the human cover.
Happy Hour Was a Little Too Happy
Remember that night you got black-out drunk? Of course, you don't. You were black-out drunk. All you remember is waking up in your bed (hopefully) the next morning. Some pictures on your phone might jog your memory, but they won't recreate the entire night so you're bound to be left with some unsolved mysteries on your hands.
Good thing you have your friends to remind you of the occurrences of that night. The person in the gray bubbles had the missing pieces of the previous night filled in by their friend in the blue bubbles. Those missing pieces include way too many margaritas.
Self Portrait
We've seen him before. We know it but we just can't place it just yet and it's driving us crazy. Maybe it's that guy from that movie we watched the other night? Nah, they just look similar. Could it be our latest Tinder match? No, that guy turned out to be a douche and this one seems sweet.
How about that kid we went to middle school with? Oh wait, he's had some plastic surgery done a few years back so he doesn't look like that anymore. Could it be the actor from that cereal commercial? Yeah, that's definitely the one. Phew.
Reading Comprehension
When being broken up with, the only way to come out of it with a shred of dignity is to know your worth and leave with a gracious smile that will leave the other side doubting their decision. Green Bubbles here, obviously didn't get the memo and finished this relationship with a crushed dignity and not much else.
Someone is going to have their name on the contact list changed from "Babe" to "Do Not Answer" but it doesn't sound like "Babe" is too mad about it. Maybe Babe has had enough of partners with poor reading comprehension and is now on the hunt for someone with better skills in that department.
Technically It's Not Even English
English is hard y'all. It's not even its own language — more like a collage of, like, four other languages. That's why spelling is so inconsistent. Seriously, why do tough and though sound so different? They don't even rhyme! And don't even get us started on the way too many ways to pronounce "ough".
No other language that we know of has a spelling system warped enough to justify nationally televised spelling bees. So can you really blame the poor guy for spelling croissant the way he hears it? And in any case, it's not like the original French spelling is super phonetic either...
So Supportive
There are so many kinds of drunk people. There's the aggressive drunk ("Are you looking at me?"), the happy drunk ("I love you so much, man"), the dancing drunk ("Hey DJ, put on some Beyonce!"), the puking in the alley drunk ("Tiffany, hold my hair"). These are all classics and they are just the tip of the iceberg.
Sometimes, depending on the number and the kind of drinks, they can all manifest in one person. This text exchange, though, is all about the supportive drunk. Honestly, we aren't big on Pokemon, so catching a Snorlax might actually be the big deal this drunk friend makes it out to be.
Did He Sell the Car Though?
When putting a "for sale" ad on one's car, one would have a very specific goal of doing that, which would be selling the car. But sometimes, life finds a way and it might just lead to an unexpected friendship. Just look at that sweet bromance blossoming right in front of our eyes.
The scene is all set, the traffic is in place, the sticker is right in front of the eyes of the right person, and so it begins. We can already picture them having a beer and watching the Superbowl together. It's so beautiful we might be crying. Might. We also might not.
Jeremy Spoke in Class Today
Jeremy from Transcendentalism (as he appears on her phone in a different screenshot) doesn't sound like the best loaf in the oven if you catch our drift. Let's just say that the class they are talking about is probably not biology class. And if it is, he is probably failing.
No, this is not a pregnancy test, dude. It's a thermometer, and it shows that the last thing Hannah needs right now is to get a migraine from explaining to you how fever works. We just hope Hannah feels better, and that Jeremy found some good books and read them.
The Harley Hotel
Harley's dad sounds like a cool guy. First of all, he named his daughter Harley. Now, we aren't saying he named her after a motorcycle, but we also aren't saying he didn't. We also aren't saying he named her after a comic book character. But then again, we aren't NOT saying that either.
Another cool-dad credential to add to his cool-dad certificate is this funny dramatic text message to his daughter. These must add a nice little spice to living with him. We hear you, Harley's dad! And might we add — if Harley isn't home for dinner, we would love to take her place.