Sometimes you just have to give it up. Most people love the idea of chowing down on some spaghetti after a long day of work, but few are able to go the distance and get a framed picture that says it’s all thanks to Italy.
People might have to read the text a few times to understand what’s actually being said, but that just makes it even better as an addition to your décor. People will have to stare at it for a little while as you’re finishing up the pasta in the kitchen. Probably pasta, anyway.
Just the Kind of Thing a Vampire Would Use
So, you have an interest in some of the classic creepy stories of the human race. Well, there's nothing more classic than vampire stories. You find a book about them at the thrift store, and it looks like the previous owner left a bookmark inside. Nice. Free bookmark.
But it appears that the bookmark is made of human hair! That is...less nice. In fact, it's the sort of thing that will shift your face into a rictus of fear, replace the book on the shelf, and quickly make your way to the nearest church.
Please Stop Being So Excited
We are in two minds about this strange sculpture. Half of us really want to find out what he's all amped up about. The other half really, really doesn't want to find out. We're told that it's likely missing something – something that used to sit in the sculpture's palm, but who knows what it was supposed to be. A piece of food? An ingredient? A wine glass?
It turns out that there's supposed to be a bottle in the guy's hand, which explains both the shape of the mouth and the rapturous look on his face.
Away, Majestic Steed
Here are the rules: you find a picture like this while going thrifting, you buy it. You sort of have to. How could you not? Look at that thing! Princess Anastasia is finally finding her place as the queen of the north, and her mighty friend Polar Pooh is there to join her as she gathers allies and reclaims her father's kingdom.
The falling snow and shimmering winter sky provide a perfect backdrop. Sure, it might not be the centerpiece of your house, but it at least has a place in your bathroom. Such detail. Such beauty.
This Item Got Canned
For some reason, a lot of the stuff that you find at garage sales and thrift are bathroom related. It might not be north of fifty percent, but there are still a surprising number of items. Like this little guy that is popping a squat on a jug, totally undressed and oh-so bored with it all.
The eyes have a strange style, but everything else is very...round. Well, everybody poops as the books tell us, but that doesn't mean we want to have a sculpture of that. That's just weird.
Exactly Three Dollars of Entertainment
There are lots of really bad games out there. Not everything someone comes up with is a Seven Wonders, Settlers of Catan, or Love Letter. For instance, this game might ask you to catch little fabric poo emojis on your head using Velcro.
That's exactly what's going on here, and three dollars seems to be the perfect amount of money for what the game will offer. Maybe your kids will like it? It could make a good gag gift. And hey, it's available on Amazon, in case you want to spend twenty dollars on it.
He Could Be Inside Any of Us
Cutting right to the chase, the picture of the “man” on this shirt is an edited image of Mark Zuckerberg, the founder of Facebook. You might have dreamed about him, but that's because he's a real person. The shirt is an edited version of a hoax about people dreaming of a “man” that doesn't exist – even though people did actually start to dream of him. Almost certainly because they had seen the image.
We think we might be able to figure out why someone wanted to get rid of this shirt. Even based on a real person, that face is creepy.
Look Away. Look Away!
There are a lot of really disturbing dolls out there. Some of them are too lifelike, some of them aren't lifelike enough. This lad falls squarely into the too-lifelike category. Things are mostly okay once we get to the neck, but then it all goes bad.
The lips are too pink, the hair looks to be made of actual human hair, and then there are, of course, the eyes. They shine bright blue, like the sea in the sunshine, but there is no comfort there. They stare into your soul until you have no chance but to follow the doll's every whim.
Time to Ride
This little trinket is listed as a “hungry horse,” and we guess that's one possible interpretation. Another option is that the person carving it had a stroke while at work, and nobody noticed that everything had gotten messed up.
Sure, there are a lot of far worse options available at thrift or antique stores, but this one still raises some questions. Why are the teeth so big? Why are the lips red? Why doesn't the horse have what you would call traditional eyes? Why is the head so big, and the neck so terribly long and skinny? Questions for a braver soul.
For the Ultimate Collector
There was a time when MC Hammer was the biggest recording artist of all time, but that time was short. Now he's remembered for being untouchable and for losing all his money in a really short time.
To think that there's some store out there that believes a buyer would shell out seventy dollars for this piece of memorabilia is nothing short of audacity. The thing wasn't worth that much when it was first being sold. It certainly isn't worth that much now. You could probably get the real MC Hammer to perform for you with that much money.
Only a Dollar Each?
Like the discount DVD bins at Walmart, this is where you go if you have money to burn but don't have anything important to buy. Just reach in, and you'll be the proud owner of real, genuine buffalo teeth. Just like any other part of the body, there are plenty of buffalo teeth out there, and buffalo owners want to make sure they get their money's worth.
For only a dollar each, it seems like you could pretty easily put together a fun, unique, and memorable white elephant gift just for the cost of a few bucks, some glue, and your arts and crafts skills.
For the Big Fan
“Spongebob Squarepants” has become a show that kids love to watch and adults love to send gifs of to each other. There's no reason why stuff like this wouldn't show up at the local Goodwill – fan work that is made for only the biggest fans.
An actual, real shot from the original Spongebob Squarepants movie is here for all to see in this custom painting by Tee, and it's going for the low, low cost of two dollars. Hard to beat that kind of value. This is one of the best reasons for thrifting – you never know what you might find.
Are You Trying to Tell Me Something?
If you have a friend that should probably stay away from the bottle, this is the perfect gift. Just a gentle nudge in the right direction. It is, apparently, a serving plate, so it could also make an appearance during big gatherings and parties. The artwork is cute and charming, and the design is rather nice, even if the lady does seem to have one big tooth in her mouth (it gets a little blurry).
If you're actually able to fill a wine glass that big with wine, we can't really tell you what to do, but we can't discourage enough the idea of swimming in wine. It wreaks havoc on your pores.
Every Worst Nightmare Rolled into One
Someone was browsing an estate sale – for the family of a deceased to make back a little bit of money – and they found this...interesting...thing. A clown with yellow teeth, outrageous face paint, tons of gray facial hair, and a cocked American flag hat is quite the sight.
Turns out this is a character called “Captain Spaulding” from the movie “House of 1000 Corpses.” It's a black comedy horror film and was the directorial debut of Rob Zombie. Despite unfavorable reviews, it did well at the box office and maintains a cult following. Sid Haig plays Captain Spaulding.
He Does Not Know Why He Screams
For a long, long time, most of the decorations that people used to fill their homes didn't actually look all that good. You probably have memories of going to an aunt and uncle's house, or your grandparents, and seeing statues, paintings, or rugs that just look hideous. This donkey is a prime example.
It's painted weirdly, it's shaped weirdly, and it has a weird face. Is it just because stuff wasn't as mass-produced as it is now? Maybe the hand-made quality was something to strive for after the rise of factories.
Only Two Left – Hop to It!
In Ecclesiastes, the teacher tells us that there is “Nothing new under the sun.” It's possible that this proves him incorrect. We see here that someone has a pair – not just one, but two – human-sized rabbit dolls that are dressed up in Victorian clothing. They're on sale for only a hundred and fifty dollars, too!
Where could you utilize such things? As mannequins in a store? A way to get into the carpool lane? Whatever the reason, you'd better act fast. They're probably hard to make, and there are only two of them available.
It Sees You Through the Screen
Now that you've viewed a picture of this thing, it knows where you live. And don't worry, it will show up soon. You'll know when it does. No single piece of this construction looks good and taken together, it turns into a hideous piece of art that only the most aesthetically deprived would want around.
But we think we can give some credit to the original idea – make a little man that is built out of a moon. You know what, actually, it sounds like a pretty stupid idea once you say it out loud. Stop it.
I Don't Want to Be the Executor!
What's wrong with a mug? Well, the “prayer” might very well be the creepiest thing to ever be put to words. When it comes to creepiness, it's really hard to beat “Make me into a lady's horse saddle after I die”
Also, is it a prayer if it doesn't mention God, Jesus, or anything religious whatsoever? The answer is no. Maybe it's a creed or a promise, but not a prayer. The design of the cup isn't terrible, but all the words are squished together. Just the image would have been nice, but the poem really ruins it.
Time to Give Him a New Home
While certainly not the worst thing we're going to find on this list, this little statue will still take some getting used to. This feathered sea captain could never be the centerpiece of a house's décor, but it might look nice in the corner of a shelf. Something to keep the place from looking too empty. You know, give the area a bit of color.
It's a nice conversation starter, at the very least. Conversations like, “where did you get this, and why did you get it?” You could also use it to fight off a home invader – that guy looks heavy.
Boo, I Guess
October is a rare month – that's how Ray Bradbury's incredible novel “Something Wicked This Way Comes” begins, and it's a true statement. The air is crisp and full of wonderful smells, the leaves are falling, and at the end – Halloween. Plus, you get to see great things like this cheerful little guy.
Not everybody has to have twenty-foot skeletons or entire cemeteries in their yards to get the spooky spirit going. Sometimes you just need a noodle ghost that will light up a little bit. Nothing wrong with this pickup if you want to get some decorations. He's not scary at all.
When an Old Woman Loves an Opossum
We're pretty sure that's an opossum, anyway. We thought it was a ferret at first. The picture is weird, is what we're saying. The quality itself is not too bad, though the hands and the woman's face don't look all that great.
Anyways, why would someone paint this sort of thing? There are tons and tons of strange paintings, since sometimes people just want to create something odd, but this one is still an interesting choice of subject matter. Maybe that lady just really, really loved her pet opossum.
Literally From a Horror Movie
If you're a fan of scary movies, this doll is going to look familiar. Yes, you, too, can own the famously haunted doll from the “Annabelle” series of films, which includes a prequel and a sequel. It's obvious that this doll is supposed to look unnerving and creepy.
Thankfully, none of the creepy things that happen in the movie will take place if you buy this doll. You know, probably. We don't have any hands-on experience with the doll, but you'll probably be fine. Look at the big smile on her face! She's so happy to see you!
Have to Keep Them Safe
We dare you to find even a single woman that could comfortably fit into this unique piece of personal fashion. There might be one person in the entire history of the world where this wouldn't pinch something.
There's also the fact that it comes with an iron collar, chains, an extra bar, or belt, across the top...this is the kind of thing that might show up at Burning Man, but it's made of entirely metal, so it will probably just sear your skin. Leave it for some enterprising fashionista, and stick with stuff that is a little more comfortable.
So Close
This was so close to being something that a lot of people could want in their homes. Without the faces, these were just some flowers that you could use as a table centerpiece, on the mantle, or on shelves. With the faces, they're things that you don't want anywhere near your home.
The flower on the left looks like he's up to no good, the blue flower is trying to figure out how best to ruin your perfect night, and the flower on the right is wondering when will you spoon-feed it with some ice cream. Please do not feed it ice cream, it will end badly.
Big Ups to Pasta
Sometimes you just have to give it up. Most people love the idea of chowing down on some spaghetti after a long day of work, but few are able to go the distance and get a framed picture that says it's all thanks to Italy.
People might have to read the text a few times to understand what's actually being said, but that just makes it even better as an addition to your décor. People will have to stare at it for a little while as you're finishing up the pasta in the kitchen. Probably pasta, anyway.
We All Need a Hobby
Some people paint. Some people hike. Some people play fantasy football. And some people create laundry bottles with interesting textures and then give them away to thrift stores. Well, at least one person does that, anyway. The work here actually seems pretty nice. One sparkles, one is fuzzy, and one has an odd rubbery texture.
Bonus feature: we're going to bet that all the bottles smell nice. They did have Tide in them, after all. Still, it would be a little hard to use them just to carry detergent, though there are plenty of other options. Like...as a water bottle? That would be weird.
We Will Take Your Word for It
Having never done either of these things, we will defer to those that have the experience necessary to make such claims. The theory goes that it takes a long time, it maintains a base level of pain throughout the entire experience, and then at the end, you finally get some peace.
Sure, that makes enough sense to us to put onto a piece of home decoration. At the very least, the actual design of the thing is good. It has a sentiment that your kids might not appreciate, but that's just too bad, isn't it? You're in charge here.
This Hurts the Brain
We are told by somewhat reliable sources that this shirt comes from an upscale place in New York, and if you wanted to buy it from that place, it would cost you a whopping three hundred dollars! Is this based off of something from a movie, or something like that? That's the only explanation we can come up with for why the designers thought they would be able to move this trash.
An intentional misspelling, a yes/no box (even though the shirt doesn't ask a question), calling the guy “Smelly Boy.” It's just so, so bad. And for only three hundred dollars.
We're Sure It's Fine
It's fine! It's fine. There's no reason to think that the picture that is very obviously haunted will come to life and creep into your room at night. No reason at all to think such a thing. The picture shows a woman that is about to be grabbed by the painting behind her – and the painting is her! What a twist!
The woman is pointing a finger at the viewer, and she's also holding something. It's a badger's paw, which was something thought to be able to ward off the evil eye. The painting also has a name: Incubus, by Dino Valls.
Something We Didn't Know We Wanted
But we still don't want it. When it comes to media properties, it's almost impossible to beat Pokemon. They might very well be the most popular pop culture phenomenon in the world, and this book is a good example of that fact.
How many other properties get coloring books of their characters farting? Either not enough, or too many. We wonder if the higher-ups at Pokemon HQ gave the all-clear for this book because it seems like the kind of thing you try to do without getting sued. Probably unsuccessfully.
That Will Keep the Mice Away
It will also keep absolutely everything else away since it's terrifying. We have no idea what kind of animal it's supposed to be. It has the pose of a dog who is ready to play, but the shape and features make it look more like a cat.
Well, we say the features, but it's more like that's the closest we can come up with. It also kind of looks like a monkey, but it clearly isn't supposed to be one. Maybe the person who came up with this thing was just aiming for “animal.”
Wasn't This Thing From Quiznos?
This guy might have loved the subs at one point, but it looks like he's fallen on hard times since the heyday of Quiznos. Companies can fall on hard times, too. This stuffed doll looks like it was designed and knitted by someone that has never cast eyes on...we don't know what it's actually supposed to be.
A hamster? It also looks like it could be a frog, but maybe that's just us. Plus, there's the little hat that makes it look like it belongs in Maine, loading lobsters out of a trap. Pass.
Looks Like a Lot of Space
There are plenty of fun purses out there, but this one is sure to be at the top of anyone's list. Everybody needs a carryable for when you don't have to be all put together. Going to the movies? Put everything in this frog. Or...toad? We don't think the purse is fully accurate, no matter the case. Heh, case.
We hope that the arms and legs have openings since they look like perfect little pockets for change, lip balm, or other small items. Even if they aren't, this kind of thing isn't going to languish on the shelves of the thrift store for very long.
Some Things to Work Out
At the very least, this odd doll has some utility. It looks like it can hold at least five knives, perhaps even more. A handy kind of thing that every kitchen needs, but they usually don't look like this. It turns out that this piece goes by the name of “Princess Stabby,” and isn't that charming?
If you think this is the perfect item for you, maybe think about why that is. There are some possible Freudian interpretations that will come up. At least the doll looks prepared – just check out those vacant eyes.
Didn't See This One Coming
When we went into this, we knew we would find some strange stuff. Odd paintings, weird sculptures, shirts that nobody in their right mind should wear. But this? This wasn't in the forecast. This has come out of nowhere, and we aren't all that mad about it.
How often do you get to see a taxidermy, burlesque rat covered in sequins and wearing a FABULOUS feather headdress? We're going to guess not until now. Well, you're welcome. You can check that box off your bucket list. It was probably down there a ways, under climbing a mountain and racing a sports car, but you know it was there.
Sign Us Up
Snow globes are one of the more common things to find while you're thrifting or hunting. They can take up a lot of space, they're often given as gifts, and they really don't do a darn thing. Yes, you can shake them up and there will be a flurry of “snow” inside, but that's all. This one, however, is a treat.
You barely even need to watch the movie! Three snow globes have the four main characters, the wicked witch, and the great wizard's castle. The one problem is to get one of them flurried, you'd have to pick up the whole thing and shake them all.
Perfect for Kick Drums
It makes perfect sense that there would be a product like this out there somewhere. The Muppets have been around for decades, they have all kinds of gear out there that have their logos and recognizable characters. We can't tell if the shoe in the picture is a pump or a heel, but that doesn't matter that much.
There are plenty of people that would love to wear this kind of color and add this kind of energy to their outfits. They aren't the kind of thing you want to wear to a wedding, but you might be able to get away with it at the Met Gala.
The kid on the Left Needs a Stool
You just don't get this kind of craftsmanship anymore. Solid brass, iron in the middle, and a couple of goofy tykes that look like they have no idea what a camera is.
The kid on the left has one of the more unfortunate haircuts we've seen in a little while, and also needs a boost, while the Shirley-Temple type on the right is looking off at something else. We're not sure how big this little item is, but from the wood grain and the quality of the light, it doesn't look like it's that big.
Bonus Find
It's a classic tale. A guy buys a dirt-cheap comforter from an overstock store, and inside the package was – what else – a steak knife. Sweet. Now, most people would find such an addition to a comforter worrying, but there's probably no reason to freak out. I mean, why would anybody want to hide a knife in a comforter? We can't think of a good reason. And hey, free knife.
This might be the only example on this list that is something that the buyer did not INTEND to buy, and still got anyway. That sounds the most dangerous.
A Collector's Item
Cheese and onion might not be the flavor that we would reach for if we need some chips to munch on, but somebody out there must really appreciate them. Not only has that person eaten them, but that person has framed three separate packets of the chips.
At least, we're pretty sure that the person ate them. Those bags are empty, aren't they? Would you pay ten pounds for such a display? There might be some people that find Walkers – the British name for Lays – so fine that they want to make sure their collection is complete.
Well, There Was One Great Hit, Apparently
A music fan stepped into a secondhand shop and found a copy of Tom Petty's greatest hits. Score! The music fan purchased it and got it all the way home before opening it, only to find...well, just take a look at the picture. Not only is it not Tom Petty's greatest hits, but it's also not even a disc that will play anything.
“Death to Smoochy” is apparently a pretty good movie – it has Robin Williams, Edward Norton, Danny DeVito, and more, but it's hard to enjoy it when the disc (which appears to be a burned copy, anyway) is in this sort of condition.
May They Never Be Free
Can you think of a good reason to stuff a pair of sock (we think) puppets into a jar? We can't think of a good reason not to if that helps. Are they sock puppets? Now, we aren't sure. It looks like they could be a lot of things, and it's hard to tell, thanks to the whole stuck-in-a-bottle thing.
Here's another item that might just trip your trigger if you need something to keep the shelves from looking too bare, but you don't want this one front and center. Maybe in a corner. Behind something else.
Now for Sale: Hair
All the way back in 2005, someone named Bill cut the hair from his head “for bone marrow.” Was Bill in need of life-saving medical treatment that would have deprived him of his luscious looks one way or another, or was this some kind of charity event?
Regardless, now you can be the proud owner of Bill's braided ponytail. Just like you always wanted. It's a pretty note-worthy tail, though the actual size is hard to tell. Even if you don't want the hair itself, it looks like a pretty good frame for something you actually like.
So, You Have Some Unruly Kids
If your kids are bouncing off the walls, refuse to listen to you, and generally are the little hellions that you know they can be, this tape is the perfect solution. Not because they'll take the lessons from the song to heart – more like they'll be good because they don't want to have to listen to it again.
Despite this tape coming out as long ago as 1981, more than forty years, it looks like it could be from the Sixties. We would have guessed at least the Seventies. Good luck finding a tape deck that can play it.
We Want it Now
We have no idea why anyone in their right mind would get rid of such a magnificent beast. Just imagine building up an encounter with a three-headed dragon at your Dungeons and Dragons table and then unveiling this thing. What a battle it would be!
Or maybe you're a big Godzilla fan, and this King Ghidorah edit would look perfect on the shelf next to all the other unique pieces you've collected over the years. The craftsmanship is wonderful, the painting is superb, and it's so big that this would be the centerpiece of any collection.
Sometimes Classics Need a New Paint Job
Unveiled in 1889 as the centerpiece of the World's Fair in Paris, France, the Eiffel Tower has become an international favorite that draws plenty of people to the city of lights year after year. Thankfully, the graceful, wrought-iron structure has a classic metal look and doesn't usually look like a cow.
However, if that's the kind of thing you're after, feel free to grab this little piece, which not only has the tower in black and white, but it adds a cute cow head and a full set of udders. Also, the base is hooves. Great.
Back to the Old Days
Grange cooking is a little hard to define. Think of the kind of food you might find on the farm, and that's close enough for our reckoning. What's inside this cookbook? Well, you can find recipes for things like Cherry Coke salad, which doesn't seem too bad, but there's also stuff like molded seafood salad, spinach pancakes, and lots of dishes that include wieners.
Wiener stew, skillet wieners, wieners in thick barbecue sauce. They sound fun, we just think it's funny to say. Some of the recipes look alright, while others...we'll leave them to the past.
Far Out
Goodwill and other thrift stores have a lot of stuff that is cheap for a reason – it's not very high quality. This image, most assuredly, is NOT one of those things. Kermit and Miss Piggy are rocking their very best threads for a trip to the disco hall in this outrageous set.
Miss Piggy looks great as part of the mod squad with a hippy dress and a pair of colorful shades, while Kermit is sure to be the dance king in a big suit, long gold chain, and the best afro we've seen on a frog since last Tuesday.
What Is This Strange Creature?
We're not really sure what this picture was going for, but it certainly hasn't ended up that way. A mom is proudly showing off a younger sibling to her son, but the son doesn't look all that excited. In fact, he has a face that is sending us rolling across the floor.
Maybe the face is supposed to be one of surprise or wonder, but it looks more like the kid is looking into the future and realizing that he has to deal with this thing for the rest of his life. The art is so good otherwise – why is his face like that?
Surely There Are Better Options
Thrift stores seem to have lots of old decorations available for those that need to spruce up their holiday tableau, but this guy isn't what we would go to first. He's huge and round, and the white trim on his jacket looks like a planet's ring.
Both of his hands look like they're just made out of the extra material that the creator had lying around. The tree he's carrying is tiny (or he is HUGE), and his face is bright pink. Rosy-cheeked is one thing, but it looks like he's made out of uncooked salmon.
For the Horror Movie Maven
Want to make sure things are scary this Halloween? There's no better option than some of the classic horror movie characters like Freddy Krueger or Jason Voorhees.
Sure, they may have been freaky back in the day, and they still have quite a bit of fright attached to them, but don't worry, it's not like either of these characters is famous for coming back time after time, even if people think that they're dead. Still, they're a great way to make your yard a little spookier once it becomes time for all the candy, costumes, and dress-up parties.